Michael Sellick aka Mikey of The Crochet Crowd

Crochet: Self Medicating or Self Isolation?

Mikey, The Crochet Crowd

Mikey, The Crochet Crowd

I am Michael Sellick, known online as 'Mikey', I am the founder and leader of The Crochet Crowd. I'm a 'hooker' at heart with the passion to crochet and play with yarn.

150 thoughts on “Crochet: Self Medicating or Self Isolation?

  • December 9, 2015 at 8:43 am
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    I enjoyed your article Mikey!! I read it with great empathy. I to am dealing with a similar situation.

    The bottom line is for me: With each piece of yarn I make a stitch in time, that no one or nothing can take away. I crochet with great enthusiasm knowing it will relax me and make me happy! All the while I am going inside my soul to reveal who I am to me. The world around me dissipates and the sadness turns to happiness with the ease of the yarn and hook in my hands.
    I learned to crochet from my great grandmother at the tender age of 9. She told me then and it still holds true to today:

    “With the needle and yarn you can turn a really bad day into a beautiful project and make it a beautiful day. ”

    Keep crochet close by and it will relieve the anxiety and fears of life.

    Take care Miley

  • December 6, 2015 at 2:24 pm
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    It was not a good article it was MARVELOUS!

  • December 6, 2015 at 2:23 pm
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    Mikey,

    Dan is right. Not everyone is your friend. I have found that out the hard way even in small crowds of acquaintances. But in this day and age it is so hard to find someone with common interests to converse with. Now people of all ages are stuck on technology devices, ie: gaming devices. They have their head down playing games or texting with other gamers and of course we had the cell phones for texting. I feel that crocheting has a wide facet of meaning. It can be theraputic, business based if you sell your items, gift making or making for self or even making for charities. It is something done that is productive and you get something out of it. There is no shame in sitting and crocheting or any other portable hobby item. I think it is a wonderful thing to see someone waiting somewhere doing a craft of any kind. It lets my imagination work on who may be the lucky recipient of the item. This can also lead to an inquiry of what are you making. Uh huh! Conversation starter! Which will not happen to a person texting or gaming(well ok maybe gaming if it is another gamer). I am sure you look around occasionally to see what is going on in your surroundings. This is usually when a person will see opportunity to ask their question.
    When I crochet, part of it is because I darn well like to, then there is the purpose. I make some to sell for charity at my club, I make them for gifts or for myself. I have made a few made to order items but it is not my goal. I just want to crochet. I do have spurts of doing other crafts but being an artistic person, I must do as my spirit guides me. This year has mostly been crocheting. I do love how I can sit down upset or angry and get lost in my crocheting and when I sit it down I feel so much better.
    Whatever you do, don’t give up doing what you love and if that means doing it in public to feel better then DO IT! You are such an inspiration for others with your creativity, sharing ideas and videos and patterns. It is sad to hear some people do not click with you because you seem so personable! But again, not everyone is your friend. Probably a good thing too as some people out there just do not have good karma and are full of negativity. That is bad stuff to get rubbed off onto you. Be your same ole warm, happy, wonderful self and keep up the good work!

  • December 5, 2015 at 12:28 pm
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    Hi Mikey! You are not alone in feeling this way! I have felt this way since I was a child. I’ve always been very shy around people and have never been good at starting conversation. I always feel that people don’t like me because I am so quiet. So I tend to isolate myself from people alot. However I am lucky to have a great husband and 4 beautiful children which brings me joy and a purpose. Lately though, I have been experiencing empty nest syndrome. Thats when I picked up a crochet hook and learned how to crochet again! Your videos have been a great help with my relearning. Crocheting helps me keep my mind off of the sadness of my children not needing me anymore and for that I am thankful! So thanks for all the great videos and try to stay positive. You are a good person and if other people can’t see that then it is their loss! Sincerely Celia.

  • December 5, 2015 at 12:02 pm
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    Wow, I don’t feel as isolated now, I’m right there with you Mikey! My whole life I have felt like an outsider, as if there was something wrong with me. I’ve always had a hard time starting conversations and keeping them going. I was so quiet and even scared to talk to others as a child, so I didn’t make my first friend until middle school. I finally had a total of 3 friends by eighth grade and then we moved away and I had to start all over again. High school was a horrible existence for me, even though I made a few friends. I always felt so self-conscience, like everyone was avoiding me for a reason. I turned to solitary sports in high school which helped a bit. College was so much better and made some great friends and finally found myself. Today I am married to the love of my life and have two beautiful children. I had some anxiety as a child which became worse after my first child. I lost both of my parents within three days of each other for different reasons, and lost my Grandmother a few months later. I was having panic attacks, grief and constant anxiety for about a year and a half. After my second child I had constant anxiety and postpartum depression. Today I am doing much better. Even on medication, I deal with generalized anxiety disorder each and every day. I still get anxious about social situations. With all my experiences and family loss, I hold my loved ones close and enjoy my time with them. I turned to crochet and loved it immediately! I crochet every day and it helps reduce my stress and anxiety. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Take refuge in those you love and in your craft. You have an amazing talent that you share with the world. Most people will not understand you, your feelings or your crochet, but that doesn’t matter (even though it is frustrating). There are like minded people out there even though we seem to only find each other online. THANK YOU for sharing your crochet talent, I follow your blog and facebook. Keep going, you are worth it! Take Care Mikey 🙂

    • December 12, 2015 at 12:16 pm
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      While I don’t have any children- I can SO relate to what you write….This past week has been a pressure cooker- facing a dental emergency- can’t chew,, dog is sick- waiting on test results….., feeling shaky…I HAVE to tune the world out & turn to my hooks & yarns..While I do knit- I find crochet much more soothing…….

      This subject has been a comfort to me- when reading it- many times I came to something & said- I thought I was the ONLY ONE WHO FEELS this way…

      We are human, we have weaknesses & strengths..

      In ‘my favorite world’- we would all be so much kinder to each other…

      Mikey has a section at the bottom of suggestions on how his site can be improved..

      I say- ” Don’t change a hair for us: NOT if you care for us ‘

      Blessings

      LS

  • December 5, 2015 at 9:55 am
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    Mikey I find that yes this isolates me(as I am want to do) but it also brings other creative people to me. We start talking projects success and faliures. How I plan to redo this or that and before you know it I have a new friend who is on a similar path, and I also have the joy of creating with my hook and yarn.

  • December 5, 2015 at 5:32 am
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    Hi. It sounds like you could be an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), which is a trait that describes your neuro-biologic make up, it is how you are wired. HSPs are often mistaken for shy, or introverted or having low self esteem, they are told they are too sensitive to everything….but in actual fact, scientific research is finding that their nervous systems take in much much more than most people. HSPs only make up 20% of the population, which means you probably won’t bump into many at the average coffee shop or in your daily life. 70% of HSPs are introverted, but a full 30% are extroverted. They can read a room, read people’s emotions. And they think everyone does this….and get upset when nobody seems to notice that they are tired, or down, or having a bad day.

    Non-HSPs don’t communicate with eachother the way HSPs do. They don’t have the heightened sensitivity to detect what’s going on. Since 80% of the population is made up of non-HSPs, the world is made by them and for them, which leaves us HSPs feeling left out. A lot.

    But don’t blame yourself. Or try to change yourself. HSPs are quite unique and extraordinarily valuable in society. Science is just waking up to this fact. HSPs are really good at ‘getting it’ right away. They are great strategists. They are often the artists, creative people, and great loyal friends that people turn to when they need depth and understanding.

    The leading researcher in this field is Dr. Elaine Aron and she’s a got a great website filled with information: http://hsperson.com/

    You don’t need therapy. You don’t need to change yourself. You need to understand your uniqueness and all the ups and downs they bring. Only another HSP will understand you when you want to talk about these things. The non-HSPs can’t help you. It is like they are colour-blind and you are not. But…since there are so many more of them than you, they’ve set up the world as if everyone is colour blind. When you see things that they don’t see, it can make the HSP feel like there is something wrong with them.

    Okay, I’ve made this too long. Sorry about that. I’m an HSP, and love nothing more than to get deep deep down to the heart of things.

    I love crocheting. And love your website. Don’t ever even think of giving up the crocheting. I moved from Canada to Europe a few years ago, and couldn’t find even one person to crochet or knit with because it isn’t cool here. Can’t get decent yarn. Can’t get a crochet group going to save my life. I used to crochet on the street car and in cafes, hoping to attract other like-minded people. Finally, I was asked not to bring my projects into the cafe again. And now, I don’t do it anymore in public. I’m a secret crocheter, and go to your site to feel normal and welcome. I love how you celebrate crocheting.

  • December 5, 2015 at 3:38 am
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    Michael,
    I don’t know if you will read this after so many responses but here goes.
    First, I think you are judging other’s opinions based on your experience from the past combined with your experience when you are with Crochet Crowders. When you are with your fans, you are feeling waves of love from people who know your public persona but not the private Michael. When at home, there is the private Michael, the workaholic who is shut in another area of the house and until you take a break, you don’t even talk to Daniel face to face.
    You are also dealing with constant highs and lows with your work. Highs, such as having released your first designed product, ‘Stitch, Drop & Roll’ and coming down from another successful Creativ Festival. It will be almost 3 months before your next cruise. What do you have to get you until then?
    So you decide to go out into public and crochet. But this isn’t your public, it’s everyone’s public. I feel your feelings of rejection. Were they actual rejections, or did you feel that way because you were treated as the Michael of 2008. People didn’t connect and you were hoping for immediate interest, some kind of Wow.
    You are WOW! We all run into the same feeling. How often are crocheters crushed when they spend months working on a beautiful crochet project and the recipient puts it away in a drawer or re-gifts it. To expect a stranger to connect, you are asking non-crocheters to connect to the famous Mikey or with the Michael, who through his own admission stays at home with his head down between public ‘performances’.
    You are an awesome person. You have a gift you have shared with millions. You have the admiration of so many. You have touched a lot of lives. When in your element, you are as great an icon can be in that world. In this situation, you need to see the trees through the forest. Or figure out what you want to do to fill in the gaps during your off-season.

  • December 5, 2015 at 3:37 am
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    Mikey, I could have written this myself!
    This describes me exactly, I suffer from depression, social anxiety and rejection.
    I have a similar relationship with my partner where we get on great but too we just have one liners.
    I found both crochet and knitting a release from my mind and the madness of the world around me.
    I too bury myself in a project whenever I am low and try to close out whatever it is around me that I don’t want to see.
    The world is a huge place and is very scary, you have people around you that love you and thousands of people that admire you so there is nothing to be worried about.
    There are people that will dislike you because they are envious of you, that’s all it is, but you are better than those people so never let them win.
    If getting Yarn out is your coping mechanism then go for it, everyone loves you for it.
    Never hide from who you are.
    Keep your chin up and don’t let the few drag you down!
    All the best from the UK 🙂

  • December 4, 2015 at 10:40 pm
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    I crochet because it relaxes me and it gives me a chance to give things I make to my grandchildren. I love seeing the sparkle in their eyes. I think each person has to find an avenue or path to walk to be able to deal with unkind people. It’s to bad that people can’t just love each other for their differences. And as I say that I also realize that at times I can be one of those people that cause another pain or discouragement. I think the main thing is to be the best that you can be, love with all your heart and forgive the unforgivable. (That’s the greatest love one can have).

    I really enjoy crocheting with you – love the patterns you pick. It looks so easy when I watch you crochet. Thank you for sharing.

  • December 4, 2015 at 9:08 pm
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    I can relate, usually online. If I am on social media and feel like my posts/tweets are little more than a shout into the void with not even an echo as response, I back away from social media for a while. Instead I focus more intently on meaningful, personal pursuits and on those people who do like and have time for me. I don’t worry about being left out of (online) society at large, and that time away does me a world of good. Then when I feel like engaging again I do.

  • December 4, 2015 at 9:00 pm
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    I completely understand and agree with you. People describe me as “the one who rushes in where angels fear to tread”. Bubbly. Effervescent. My mother always said there are no strangers in my world. Others have said I could sell ice cubes to Eskimos (no offense). But sometimes? I don’t WANT to watch reality tv in the waiting room. Or talk politics or current news. If I don’t have my current crochet or knit project with me, I carry my Kindle and my nose is in that. But what I really wanted to say is: normally, any crochet/knit or…heaven forbid…hand spinning project, becomes a conversation starter. In laundry mats, doc offices, on trains or even while riding in the car…I get stares but many times I get comments, nice ones or at the very least, curious ones. But there are also times when I’m tired of being the only one who does what I do and that is when I disconnect like you. And you know what? There is NOTHING wrong with that. I never feel alone when I have a project with me. Personally, I think sitting and staring at a tv screen is about the most anti social thing I’ve experienced. People need more community. And when that’s not available, there is nothing wrong with personal creativity. 🙂

  • December 4, 2015 at 7:14 pm
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    I suffer from depression and crocheting is my life line, without it I don’t know where I would be. I love making beautiful things. I haven’t made anything for myself…. everything I make is for others, or others see it and buy it. I also feel so alone even though I’m surrounded by family. I don’t have friends myself…. I have aquaintances that I consider friends. Your not alone Mikey. I would rather crochet than socialize, but when I do find myself socializing I find myself at a loss for words….. When I feel comfortable I can be the funniest person in the crowd and I have such a good time, although I would rather be home crocheting.

  • December 4, 2015 at 6:34 pm
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    Words cannot express how much I understand you Mikey. You aren’t alone the least bit of how you feel around people and crocheting being your happiness. If I could make crocheting out of a career for myself, I would. You are blessed to do what you do and you help others.

  • December 4, 2015 at 6:02 pm
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    Got to let you know that this article really hit home. I live alone and crochet is what keeps me sane. I love all your videos and have learn to crochet with you, You are a constant companion. Some times I just put one of your videos on and feel like I have a friend keeping me company. I have crochet a Tunisian queen size blanket took 28 skeins of yarn but loved every minute I worked on it. It was a wedding present. Don’t feel alone Mike you are wanted as a true friend. Hey Man Let it snow won’t ya~!

  • December 4, 2015 at 5:54 pm
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    Big {{hugs}} for you and Daniel.

  • December 4, 2015 at 5:43 pm
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    I feel like you did everyday. No matter where I go, my crochet bag –my comfort bag/blankie– goes with me. When I bring out my bag, I feel worthy of being here in this world. Everywhere I go and I am crocheting, people come up to me and comment about the items I am working on–some say it reminds them of their mothers, grandmothers, loved ones who used to do this when they were young. Or they just love to watch me work the piece–they tell me watching me do the crochet has a calming effect on them. One lady told me that watching my hands was like reading poetry–she loved reading poetry–it took her to a ”happy place”. So in a way instead of isolating me, my crochet unites the people around me and me in a peacefull and calming healing action. Take care. Hugs to you both.

  • December 4, 2015 at 4:43 pm
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    I can imagine it is a bit tough when you have to balance the private person with the on-line persona. That really is about the only thing I can think of that would make you feel rejected in a large group of people you don’t know. I remember meeting you & being around you & Daniel on the 2nd Crochet Crowd Cruise. It’s very apparent you love being interactive with people of all kinds. When you are around crocheters, you have an immediate bond in shared interest. But in a general crowd, that bond is not there. It definitely is a lot of work making conversation with strangers & Daniel is soooooo very right….not everyone will like you…or me. As I age, I have come to realize that it is OK to be “not liked” by someone. Yes, it stings at times, especially when I like that person…but, their like/dislike of me is not what defines who I am. Same goes for you, Michael. I get uncomfortable around large groups of people I don’t know, but try to strike up conversations. If I’m successful, I’m happy, if not successful, I either leave or just keep to myself until I leave. Admittedly, I don’t use crochet as an escape from loneliness. I use. It as a way to give to others…yet entertain myself while doing so. When I know I will have a long wait somewhere, I bring my projects and a book. Switching off between my two favorite activities helps me feel productive while waiting… I sure hope you begin to feel less blue soon. You are very much appreciated by those of us who know you (even just a little bit), and your generosity is a great blessing to many!

  • December 4, 2015 at 3:19 pm
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    I understand completely. I’m extremely uncomfortable around new people or large groups of people. I also have a problem sitting still. I always have crochet nearby. The people who care about me, my husband, family, and close friends, all understand and support me. I went to a baby shower last weekend, and of course the crochet came with me. No one was bothered by it. Everyone was interested and admired the blanket i was working on. I guess what I’m saying is the ones who mind don’t matter, and the ones that matter don’t mind.

    • December 4, 2015 at 3:30 pm
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      I also took some crochet along with me to my Grandpa’s viewing in July for comfort. It was very difficult time for me, and I’m sure that some people thought it was strange or rude, but while I was in junior high, I decided that what some stranger thinks of me doesn’t matter. I’ve always been a loner. There weren’t many people who had similar interests to me, so I tended not to talk to anyone. Crochet is a comfort to me, and I wouldn’t have the skills that I have today without The Crochet Crowd and your videos.

  • December 4, 2015 at 2:59 pm
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    While I am new to the crochet bandwagon, I can totally sympathize with everything said in Mikey’s post. I had a brain tumor when I was little and up until recently I was kind of oblivious to all of it. Art has always been a great way to cope for me, whether it’s in the form of a craft, polymer clay, sewing, and recently crocheting. I often take my art with me when we go out because I have some anxiety issues and it does render me kind of separated from everything else going on around me.

    I have been in a very similar circumstance. I recently learned how serious some of my medical issues were and got pretty depressed. It took my mom, dog and art to kinda slap myself out of it but it worked. Art, in any form can really be a great way to cope but it can go too far sometimes. I find the best way to cope with your art and still be social is to find or even make some groups! Doesn’t matter where, when, online or in real life but I find that talking with others who do the same art regularly is a great way to start. From there, it’s a lot easier to take your art with you and learn to get others interested in what you’re making!

    I hope this helps Mikey! And I hope things get easier!

  • December 4, 2015 at 2:52 pm
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    I’ve always felt that way around people. Most think I’m a bi–h but what they don’t realize is I’m not, I’m just a quiet person. Once I get to know you better I will talk some. I’m happier at home by myself doing crafts. Plus I always feel like no one wants to hear what I have to say most of the time because when I do talk they interrupt me, and I never do get to finish what I was saying. So I’ve learned to deal with it in my own way. I take my To Go bag with me everywhere and work on what I want when I want. If they want to talk to me about something I will chat while I crochet or do plastic canvas. but this way I’m in my happy place even if with people who don’t get me. Huggs to you.

  • December 4, 2015 at 2:50 pm
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    I don’t think there is a perfect number of friends anyone needs to be defined as being happy, or even popular. If any soul is fortunate to have even one other person who gets them, and reciprocates the love and respect, they are blessed and not needing of much else. I chat up to people when I’m out and about in hopes that perhaps one person might have needed a friendly face and an honest smile. There are a lot of grumps out there, but even if I didn’t make their day happier, maybe I at least annoyed them 🙂 I have a best friend and we know each other inside out and backwards, too, I love him so much that I married him, twice. Crocheting just makes the great, even greater.

  • December 4, 2015 at 2:50 pm
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    My husband and I feel much like you and Daniel. We try and find friends but we just don’t seem to gel with folks in the part of the country where we live. We are “live and let live” type of people. This is a very conservative area – and that’s just not us. Plus we don’t hunt or own guns – and we’re vegans. People think we’re weird and different. So we spend a lot of time alone together. I am thankful for a like-minded husband who is my best friend. I just wish we had some friends to laugh and spend time with.

    I too carry my crocheting/knitting with me everywhere to keep me busy and help me not feel alone. I understand.

  • December 4, 2015 at 2:31 pm
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    I feel this way often! I feel so excluded at work that I have ended up looking forward to breaks so I can pull out my yarn bad and sit in a quiet corner. At home I will sit for hours with my audio book and yarn bags. I am fearful of getting over weight so I will get up and go for walks or hikes but other than that my yarn bag and hook are wonderful friends and always lean on them when I feel I don’t belong.
    Thank you for the fun things that you post online!

  • December 4, 2015 at 2:25 pm
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    Hugs to you Mikey. You are never alone when you have Dan and your yarn bag by your side.

  • December 4, 2015 at 2:12 pm
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    Dear Mikey,
    First I must say that the way you open your heart and write about your feelings is not taken for granted. I am sure every one has found him/herself meeting people that made her/him low. I feel, as the time passes, and I am growing up (not saying – getting older…) it is something with them and not with me.
    None of us is perfect but we should feel good with the good things we do have. You make so many people happy and creative, you are doing what you love and you are doing it sssssooooo good!
    As the song says: “Always look at the bright side of life” lalalala
    Those who don’t appreciate you, don’t worth you!

    Cheer Up!

  • December 4, 2015 at 2:03 pm
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    Mikey, I’m like you. I tend to keep to myself as well but every so often feel that way too. I wonder what’s wrong with me am I too “weird” for everyone else. I hate small talk and would rather chat online as I’m hearing impaired.

    If you make it this far in the comments I would have tea with you any day. My audiologist is in Walkerton and I can bring my yarn bag with me 🙂

    As an after thought this time of year can be tough, so I take vitamin D to help.

    Take care,
    Jenn from Point Clark 🙂

  • December 4, 2015 at 1:32 pm
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    I can understand your feeling of rejection when in large anonymous crowds. I used to feel that way, too. Then one day I realized that what I think of them is much more important to me than what they think of me. I am also a person who is physically incapable of sitting (or standing) and doing nothing. I must keep my hands busy. I always have a small crochet project in my purse to keep me busy at such times. If people want to strike up a conversation about my crochet, fine. If they don’t fine. I am happy in my own little world by myself. When you start doubting yourself just remember that to us in the Crowd you are a hero.

  • December 4, 2015 at 1:04 pm
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    I have a feeling that if I ever got a chance to meet you in person, we could sit and chat for hours, even if there are long comfortable stretches of just the sounds of yarn sliding over a hook. I hope one day to be on one of your crochet cruises. Sometimes I find my yarn a lot easier to “talk” to than people, but the energy put into other people isn’t always wasted. Perspective is key, and sometimes dwelling on the positive and faking it ’til you make it really do make you a happier person. It’s a weird world where you can have thousands of followers while still feeling alone.

  • December 4, 2015 at 12:57 pm
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    I tend to do the same thing in crowds of people, pull out crochet, cross stitch, weaving, or a good book. I am not good at small talk, hate crowds, especially when I don’t know many people, I feel out of touch with them or that they do not like me. You are not alone.

  • December 4, 2015 at 12:30 pm
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    About 10 years ago, I hit rock bottom emotionally, mentally, socially, and one of the issues I dealt with was this topic. When I started to confront it, I realized I had dealt with it for most of my life, especially in high school. Oh, those horrible years in high school…. And then I had a “F it” moment and started to define who I was – values, interests, work ethic, what type of friend and family member and coworker I wanted to be, career, free time – essentially accepting my brand of weird. I like crochet and getting tattoos (in fact, I have taken my crochet with me while my fiancee was getting some work done), my top three concerts are Garth Brooks, Eric Clapton, and Metallica/Godsmack. I see Garbage every time they come to town with my best friend. I love sports. My go to movie is A&E’s version of Pride and Prejudice.

    “Not everyone is going to be your friend” can be a hard statement to come to terms with but one way to look at it that makes it a little easier to deal with is everyone has their own interests and sometimes, they are not going to be the same as your’s. They have their own brand of weird. And that’s okay.

    Crochet can be both self-medicating and self-isolating but it can also be a conversation starter. I think it just depends on how it is presented and the mood being projected.

    Social media can make it difficult to accept yourself but I hope you gain confidence by knowing there’s a lot of us who know the feeling.

    I can NOT thank you enough for the hard work you do for this community. Two to three years ago, I started crocheting and a lot of the videos I watched to get me started were your’s and I find so much inspiration (maybe too much, hahaha, you should see the yarn pile and half finished projects pile) from all the pictures and tutorials. Your are truly appreciated!

    • December 4, 2015 at 1:19 pm
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      Mikey I get this all the time and normally when I’m at work. You are your own special creation and anyone who doesn’t appreciate you isn’t worth bothering about. Keep up the good work.
      Michelle

  • December 4, 2015 at 12:16 pm
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    I have always been somewhat socially awkward, particularly in public when I am around people I don’t know. I hardly ever go anywhere without my yarn. However, I find a lot of times it serves as a great ice breaker. Often times people will approach me and ask what I am making. I understand what you mean though. A lot of times I’m alone hooking and I feel lonely and want to be around people. But the moment I go out the door and am surrounded by people, I want to go back home to my yarn.

  • December 4, 2015 at 12:07 pm
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    Hey sweet one. I constantly knit/crochet in public. I get anxious whenever I’m in a large crowd, and the project helps me concentrate on pleasant thoughts instead of stressing about the press of people around me. I have found in my own experience, however, that it’s the opposite of “withdrawing”. Many times, I’m approached by other people because their curiosity helps them overcome their own barriers. I think that when we do something like this in a crowded place, there is something healthy and wholesome about it that people are instinctively drawn to. It’s nothing strange to be in a doctor’s office, and surrounded by every child in the room…they migrate over to watch what I’m doing because it’s something they’ve never seen before.

  • December 4, 2015 at 11:56 am
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    Hi Mikey,
    I have been following your posts for about a year now, and really enjoy your ideas, the way you express yourself, your patience when instructing, your humor, and your fabulous crochet talent. When I watch your tutorials, I see many things… your fabulous artistic talent, your love of teaching others what you know, your humbleness to admit to the world that you are, in fact, human and capable of human feelings and error, confidence in what you know, brave enough to tackle unbelievable projects (your magnificent nutcrackers) that most people would run away from, much less dream up. You sir, are a true artist, and I admire you for that. I also admire you for being human, and brave enough to admit it and expose it.

    From the looks of the responses to your post, there are many people/strangers that you have never met face-to-face out there that have judged you to be someone they admire, love, and desire to be your friend… even though it is long distance and mostly anonymous. Wow! That, my friend, is priceless! And when normal human life gets you down, (as we all go there from time to time), remember that you have touched so many other humans with your passion, and they love you for it. Non-creative people may be lonely, and just as frightened of being judged negatively as the rest of us, and have built those walls up around themselves for various reasons, but that is not your fault, nor your responsibility. You have many valuable friends and lives to positively touch, and let them enhance your life.

    My only advise to suggest to you is to keep being you. It works for you, Diva Dan, and a whole lotta like-minded folks out there. To quote a phrase from a powerful movie….” You is kind, You is smart, You is important.”

  • December 4, 2015 at 11:32 am
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    Here are my thoughts………I think if you have one or two really good friends, you are very lucky. I just do not believe that a person has many many friends. I think they are fooling themselves. I have tried to reach out and honestly, I gave up. If your personality does not match up with theirs, so what? Move on.
    My husband was my best friend, but I lost him several years ago. I have not found anyone that can take his place :). My daughter is my best friend now and that is ok with me. She and my granddaughers keep me going and I am blessed.

  • December 4, 2015 at 10:59 am
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    Well I think they have said it all…. I also think we are very fortunate because we don’t NEED. A lot of people because we are content with ours lives and our s left group of FRIENDS AND FAMILY . Don’t wait till you are old to realize if you wake up breathing it is a good da…. My MOTTO. Is DILLIGAF…… ( translation! Do I look like I give a f…… ) one I accepted this I found a great happiness and Am content with me …. Love you two and you are not alone… Embrace yourself with the knowledge you are LOVED for who you are and the most important people are around you always… X

  • December 4, 2015 at 10:43 am
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    Introverts UNITE! LOL Yes, I am a very proud introvert. We are also, unfortunately, emotional sponges. We have an insane intuition that we pick up other people’s “vibes”. Since I live on Long Island, NY, I get overwhelmed….a lot. It’s become more evident shortly after 9/11, when I was supposed to go in to the city later on that night to help plan a wedding in Windows of the World with a friend. My social anxiety has doubled when I was hit by a car 3 years ago, and recovery during Super Storm Sandy… I actually find great comfort to have my WIP smalls tucked in my bag. I used to have lot’s of friends, but lately, that’s changed, and I don’t know why. My friend Carol just told me she’s just been diagnosed with depression. She is also affected with the shift within our social circle. Like things got stale for most of our friends. Apparently some of us are not good enough. On the other retrospect, during Superstorm Sandy, one of our male, married friends had an affair, with a mutual friend of the group, and it was a total scandal because he was chief of the local fire department. We all got dragged into this. He’s still married, and his wife has been systematically cutting the oldest friends to him off, making new friends with people only she approves of. They ooze “toxic”. And you sense this every time you visit them, you can feel that he wants to be with you, but she does not. We used to be a group of 13-14 TIGHT knit group who got together every week, to now just a couple of friends once a month. I am headed in to the holiday season, trying my best to be positive. My mom was a Christmas baby, she’s passed away a few years ago, and a few years before that, suffered a stroke, and my relationship with my siblings and family broke up in a horrible way. I no longer speak to any of them. Like my male friend, his friends, and my family are VERY judgemental, and LOVES drama, negativity, mind games, and just tearing you down emotionally, and spiritually.

    Since then, I reconnected to an ex-wife of my brother’s. She and her family and parents have all warmly welcomed me, and since then supplied love and support I never really had growing up. I have developed a deeper relationship with Carol, and a few other friends. And yes, married to my own BFF for the past 19 years. He’s amazing. <3 him.

    So, yes, we are all introverts. We love our creativity. I bring my WIP EVERYWHERE. And I am comfortable with that.

    • December 4, 2015 at 10:46 am
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      oh, and the Toxic Couple are also one step away of alcoholism.

  • December 4, 2015 at 10:34 am
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    Hello Mikey! You are not alone sir. I think one of many hang ups with being an artist is that you are a deep thinker and passionate. Great combination for a personality, but can be difficult to place in a public setting sometimes. In public places, people come and go and they judge. No way around it. You cannot let it bug you or Diva Dan. That is just how it is! Personally, if you excuse the language, to hell with them. I understand that is hard to think or do some days but trust me your life will be better with that mindset. If you need a healthy outlet when you feel uncomfortable or the place around you makes you uncomfortable take out that yarn! I get like that in my current location, small town USA. My personality type does not mash with the mind set of a lot of folks here. I crochet when I have free time at work, at coffee shops, waiting at the airport, anywhere. I am a deep thinker and it distracts me from getting low or sad. Exercise and some good music helps too. What you did and wrote about, I feel is normal and necessary. Similar to what other commentators have posted, it can also be a conversation starter that can attract that one friendly person who will approach you. In the states, we have meetup groups which you can find on the internet for local or near by hooking groups. That could be another option for you. You are kind of a celebrity so I don’t know if that is something you want to do. Those groups know the friendly places too. I know these words have been repeated throughout the feedback section, but I hope it helps to some extent. Your videos and hard work are amazing and I am grateful for them as are many. Don’t let ignorance drag you down!

  • December 4, 2015 at 9:27 am
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    Mikey, You are loved. You are worthy. God is Love and He Loves You. I know that sometimes that sounds very cliché, and its easy to just say, “yeah, I know”. But it is true. Envelope yourself in His Love, and you will have all the validation that you need. To your point about self medication or isolation; It is both. As with anything that you do that helps you to detach from reality (i.e. using the internet, watching tv or movies, reading, crafting, etc.) you have to be sure that you aren’t using it only to not deal with the difficulties of life. It’s okay to sometimes want to sit at a nice park or coffee shop or something to work on a project by yourself (I’m an introvert and I totally get it!), but I would say that if you are in a group setting with conversation and no one else is crocheting or crafting, you should probably put down the hook and try to be present in the moment. Sometimes people will surprise you. And, if you are willing to be open to Him, the Lord puts people in your path that can be just the healing and help that you need. I’m so sorry that you are hurting. (((hugs)))

  • December 4, 2015 at 8:38 am
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    Yarn can help with sanity… although I find if I pull my yarn out in public, it tends to attract other fiber folk to chat rather than isolating me. Of course, I’m usually doing something I don’t have to concentrate TOO much on. Sorry you are feeling a bit whomped right now – remember you’ve got a lot of friends out there… and as long as you have one friend the rest of the world can go hang…

    I”d drop by just to say hi and pelt you with yarn balls, but a bit too far to drive this weekend 🙂 Looking forward to hanging out with you again on the back deck! (Although if Heather is making more NSFW objects, I may move out of arms reach of both of you….)

  • December 4, 2015 at 8:18 am
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    I hope that reading all of these responses has given you the boost you needed today Mikey! I just gotta say–if I was out and about and saw you on a bench somewhere crocheting, I would wait in line to be the next person to share that bench and ask you about your project!! Chin up…you may feel that all of your socialization/validation/whatever is online and is therefore worth somewhat less than personal interaction–but all of us reading your words and leaving you comments are real people, who only have yet to talk to you face to face due to circumstance! ?

  • December 4, 2015 at 7:50 am
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    Ugh….I put this in the wrong place the first time. So here is a repost…I know exactly how you feel. I am the person that can mingle from this table to that table at a company gathering or something similar and people will speak to me but I am never accepted or part of any one group. I feel alone and sometimes I want that “one” friend but even when I finally get thrown a crumb from one person it is only that… a crumb. I don’t get it. I am not a snot. I do have my husband and he is my best friend. He does crafts with me and we spend a lot of time together. However he has a brother to hang out with sometimes. The only place I have found to have encouraging friends seems to be on the internet. I know one thing, I can’t wait for you and Diva Dan to come to NC next weekend. I hope I can get a hug 🙂

  • December 4, 2015 at 7:34 am
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    Miley I found you because my husband sent a link for a hat he thought I would like. I also never go anywhere without my yarn bag When I’m in a public place it sometimes actually sparks conversations. But I am content in my creative reverie. It does isolate in some instances, but that’s ok too. Sometimes I need that too

  • December 4, 2015 at 7:12 am
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    You are a true gift and a blessing❤️❤️ I love watching and learning from you

  • December 4, 2015 at 7:06 am
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    I don’t go out much, but when I do, I don’t take my crochet with me. For me to crochet, I must be calm and being out in public is not calming. I could never count stitches and chat with someone, it’s one or the other and then if someone is watching me, it is bound to cause me to make multiple mistakes. If I were out somewhere and saw someone crocheting, I would ask the person what he or she was making and a conversation may be started. For the most part people are out for a reason and they are simply concentrating on what they are out to do. If it’s a setting for meeting people, it can be a bit awkward, but not necessarily because they have a problem with another, but more than likely they have crafted a thought of an individual they find interesting. Could be their fashion sense, taste in music, or something else they see that they believe is a common interest. Some people want attention, others do not. I seldom find commonality with others unless I’m looking where I know commonality already exists. But even then, it’s difficult because it’s new, you are not sure what to say or in my case, feeling out of place. Don’t read too much into how people interact or don’t interact with you in public, you know you’re worthy, it’s their loss. I must ask though, do people continue to refrain from interaction once you bring out your yarn? If so, then they are not interested in crochet or crafts requiring yarn. Although everyone can make beautiful things with yarn, not everyone wants to make beautiful things with yarn.

  • December 4, 2015 at 6:10 am
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    Thanks so much for this post. It’ s wonderful to read, because we so rarely expose the insecurities that we all share. Remember that your feeling rejected is the translation made in your mind. It isn’t real. You are not really being rejected. But you may feel unfamilar with the social rules in your community, you may be introvert and sensitive. If we could all just be as open and honest about who we are and how we feel, like you are here, no one would ever have to feel lonely. And the World would be at peace.

  • December 4, 2015 at 5:31 am
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    Seriously , its not you Mikey. The world has become so egocentric, walking around with a cell phone attached to their hands, they rarely look up for any reason. You at least have a skill worthy of building a crochet empire, and lotsss of followers. I think there are those who get it and those who do not, and you just need to stick to those who do. Why would you want everyone to like you? There are definitely people in this world I don’t like, and for good reason. One reason is that they would rather pass judgment on you, than get to to know you. The same people who picked on me in school are now spewing wisdom about beauty being inside and not outside. Really? What changed since our school days when I was trying to relay that very message back then? I think its a certain level of maturity people have to reach to handle acceptance of those different from them. So don’t worry Mikey, you are not alone and you just go on doing what you are doing, which is providing a service that helps others find peace. That cannot be bad. And you know what? I like you 🙂

  • December 4, 2015 at 2:56 am
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    I had similar issues yesterday, I had to go to town for an appointment, so I caught a lift with my mum as she needed to do some Christmas shopping, after my appointment (during which I knitted lol) we wandered around, the amount of people was making me exhausted so I pulled my knitting out again while we were having a short break, it calmed my mind & my hands.. Mikey you never know someone might see you crocheting & it may start a decent flowing conversation, my advice is do what comes naturally to you & don’t over think it..

  • December 4, 2015 at 1:38 am
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    I am with you there. I have been struggling emotionally lately and my therapist says to do what makes me happy. So if you are feeling anxious out in public and you want to whip out the yarn and hook then you hook away baby.

  • December 4, 2015 at 1:27 am
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    I am a bit of an odd bird….some welcome it…..and some don’t. I have to admit….it still gets to me when it happens. But I don’t live there. I almost killed myself seven or eight years ago, but strangely enough, it took one of those people to pull me out of it. They spent two hours telling me how much of a piece of scum I was and accusing me of things that were not in my nature. By the time they were done, I walked out of there knowing that I was worth a whole lot more then that. I do find that if I have a project in my hand, in public, it does help to cope with the “not fitting” feeling. I can escape into my little world, but with a welcome sign on the front door. Some people like to watch, but are afraid to say something and some like to compliment you or ask you about what you are doing. I just try to smile at everyone. I can’t always manage, but have determined to keep pressing in. I also know that there are a lot of people dealing with their own issues of rejection and are afraid to meet new people or even make eye contact. Ok, rambling aside….you are priceless. Worth more then any wealth. I would be honored to be your friend.

  • December 4, 2015 at 1:14 am
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    Hi… I am so glad you wrote this blog…. I have used crochet as therapy this last one and a half year and especially after passing away of my father whom i was very close to and then going through a divorce while also being pregnant with my first child…. Crochet was self medication… an escape for me from all the stress… really could identify with your experience…. most of the times the world does not understand our journey and circumstances…. it is the idea of creating something that gives the respite in this uncertain world… yes the possibilty of isolating ourselves does exist but then let us make ourselves hapy first in this selfish world…. and if crochet makes u happy, so be it…. take care and dont worry you are not alone at all…

  • December 4, 2015 at 1:12 am
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    This is a subject which is close to my heart and has come up often recently. A magazine here in the UK featured an article recently on the therapeutic benefits of knitting and crochet.
    I took up crochet while suffering from a bout of depression after finding out that my mums cancer was terminal. The act of doing and creating really did help me through this difficult time. I find that it helps to calm my mind when there is too much going on. But I also agree that it can be isolating in itself.
    It is becoming increasingly recognised that crafts can go some way to helping with a variety of mental health problems, and that can only be a good thing.

  • December 4, 2015 at 12:55 am
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    Do I identify with your pain? Yes I do. I am tired of trying to be someone else and to please everyone. I sew, knit and crochet and right now crochet seems to be the most cathartic. This group is very helpful with its positive people. As you can see by comments, you are definitely not alone

  • December 4, 2015 at 12:27 am
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    From the Netherlands,,me and my crochet friends,follow your adventures.Sad to hear you are not feeling wel.I Like to crochet in public,……most of the times i get nice people to talk to me.Keep up the good work!

  • December 4, 2015 at 12:13 am
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    Elanor Roosevelt I think it was said something like, People can only make you feel how you allow them to make you feel. And the other one I like is , other peoples opinion of you is none of your business. No one is paying that much attention to you to be judging you that way. Especially strangers. They’re not paying that much attention, no one is. I suggest if you want to feel comfortable, limit those type of gatherings. Why force yourself to do something you don’t like that makes you uncomfortable? Have a stitch and bitch instead. This way you can all crochet or knit and chat. Being introverted and or socially awkward is difficult, but not impossible. Create social settings in which you feel comfortable thats all. Keep you chin up and be easier on yourself. I love your page and designs thats all that matters in the long run.

  • December 4, 2015 at 12:09 am
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    We come from all over the planet- but have SO much emotional commonality…

    Mikey- I think you are open minded & I suggest you get some good quality pink, clear & amethyst quartz stones or wands for pendants… When you are going to be in a large group of people- you are exposed to so MUCH of other peoples emotional baggage- always carry Black tourmaline & clear quartz on your person…

    Its in the past few months I have discovered you..

    You are a Gift I never expected

    LS

  • December 4, 2015 at 12:02 am
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    If I see anyone working on a craft. I’ll ask them questions about it. I also talk about what I’ve done and how much I enjoy doing it. Great way to get tips. I’ve started a lot of conversations about my crocheting or their craft. I’m not much of a knitter, but I’ve had plenty of conversations with knitters in the yarn aisles.

    No need to feel low. I look for your videos on anything new I want to try. As a matter of fact if it weren’t for your tutorial videos I wouldn’t have the skills I have today. So, Thank you for being you.

    Besides it’s not quantity of friends you have but the quality of them that matters.

  • December 3, 2015 at 11:47 pm
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    I have always been kind of a loner. I am more of a hermit actually. People and crowds make me nervous. My whole life i have tried to please or make friends with people. Most of the time i usually get hurt. So basically i quit trying. I have my immediate family and my crocheting. This makes me happy. I find that is all I need. I was always shy and never knew what to say to people. They usually took this as me being stuck up. I am far from that i can assure you. But they judged me quickly and that is what they think. So yes i have given up on making friends. I just don’t have any except my dogs, cats and my family. I have my crocheting which makes me very happy. Keep your chin up Mikey. You have alot of people who love you for who you are. I like to say “Those who like me, like me well, those who don’t can go to H***”

  • December 3, 2015 at 11:43 pm
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    Bang on! I hate crowds, feel lost in them. Now that I can crochet again, I can go to my happy place and feel peace again. Thank you for all you do!

  • December 3, 2015 at 11:34 pm
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    Mikey I truly understand.I pick myself apart and always think people are thinking things about me and don’t like me.But I have found through crochet and you again I don’t care life is to short to worry about what others think.Be happy with who you are and what you do.I am not a social butterfly I am in my house pretty much 24/7. So it does make me get down on myself more.I use to be very energetic and always on the go.But now due to health and physical problems I can’t.But you have the energy to do it go for it hon and be proud of yourself.You are a caring wonderful human being. If they like you fine if they don’t so be it.Hold your head high and march to your own drummer. Mikey know this I may never meet you but you have captured my heart and love you very much.I know if we did hang out we could have an awesome time because your laugh makes me happy.You remind me of a close friend I lost many years ago and did not have the chance to tell him how much I cared.So I am telling you! Love you Mikey and your little counter part Diva Danny.

    • December 4, 2015 at 1:22 am
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      Patricia I agree with you. I found that we internally always worry about what others think or will think of us. In reality most people are consumed in their own head and really are not thinking about you at all. Do you sit and think about random strangers around you and judge them? Probably not, so why would we think that people are thinking about us and judging? As soon as I learned that lesson it became much easier to really not care what others think of you.

  • December 3, 2015 at 10:41 pm
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    Totally know where you’re coming from. Have never fit in well with the gay crowd (was never sufficiently with-it) and crochet has been a great comfort in a somewhat disappointing life. Was a knitting expert when younger and even worked as a crafts editor for Burda in Germany when first out of school. Totally panicked when I came out and crochet turned out to be far more relaxing than knitting as I tried navigating this strange, new world. These days, I like crochet for the rhythm and because it’s way faster than knitting. Don’t quote me, but I’ve actually returned to knitting via simple, top-down raglans, because I can knit without looking down, and watch television or read. But, I’ll be back to crochet soon!

  • December 3, 2015 at 10:40 pm
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    yes Mikey, i feel your pain! most of the time i have never been so lonely than in a crowded room. oh dont get me wrong, i can play the social butterfly very well, but i think i fake it most of the time. honestly i feel much more comfortable with children, which angers a lot of adults. they dont try to be something they are not when they are younger. and i just enjoy the purity and honestly and they just like to have fun! (or hanging with crafters is great too cause we are always creating and ooing and aahing over what others are doing! also if i was in a room of 100 people and all 99 liked me but 1 i spent the rest of the evening wondering what i was doing wrong for that person NOT to like me. (cause i thought everyone was my ‘friend’), now i am older and wiser and i DONT CARE!!! yes inside there are times i still feel like a wounded child or not good enough but there are also times it like you know YOU are missing out knowing one hell of a person! 🙂 i have lived alone for many many years and since my younger sis passed from ‘c’ that she didnt know she had 3 1/2 years ago, i started not having interactions with people in person, rarely leaving my home and have been living in a self imposed hermit away from the world for a better part of a year, accept a few interactions on social media which i check out of too. crochet has saved me with dealing with my depression. it has given me something to do and get out of my head (most of the time) and it fills my heart with joy to see things that i make that will one day bring joy to others.
    and i too hat pulling teeth to get people to have a real conversation! i think with everyone plugged into a ‘device’ proper conversation in person has become a dying thing. just know you have many many people out here that would love to talk to you and have or do walk in your shoes. i think it is also that time of year where the blues really dont leave as fast as we would like! hang in their baby! we got you and YOU got this!! 🙂 happy holidays to you and Daniel! 🙂 <3

  • December 3, 2015 at 10:38 pm
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    Hi Mikey,
    you seem to be conflicted. You say you are a very private person yet you are very open about your private life on the internet. Even before this article I was wondering how this could be, probably an occupational hazard as I am a psychologist. As such i have learned to be careful and not make any assumptions. From all the other comments you have learned that you are not alone and very much appreciated. The only advice i can give you is to think about what you want in your social life and then make a plan to get there. Let me leave you with a great big virtual hug as you make me very happy with who you are. There are lots of other people teaching crochet on the internet but it is you i keep returning to because of your vibrant personality. *hugs*

  • December 3, 2015 at 10:35 pm
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    Hi Mikey, you seem like such a wonderful and caring person with a great life and crochet skills that are envied. I love your tutorials and videos. 🙂 maybe it’s my age, 58, but I’m just too old to care what people think of me or if they like me. I love to crochet and love creating something unique. I’m carrying on an art my mother and grandmother taught me when I was 8, and trying to perfect it along the way. It’s a great conversation starter too, and I have asked people knitting or crocheting on the train what they are making. I love buying yarn and planning projects. It makes happy and that’s important. My kids and grandchildren love what I make them and someday I will pass along this beautiful craft and hopefully teach them an art that should definitely be passed on to future generations. Keep up the good work and awesome patterns and tutorial videos.

  • December 3, 2015 at 10:24 pm
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    Mikey,

    Don’t feel badly. I had a low day today, too. Even video games wouldn’t help, but my yarn always does!!

  • December 3, 2015 at 10:06 pm
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    This is long but I want to be crear…
    I used to find hope in my hook when I was feeling low. It made me feel like there was something good about me, I know how to do something not everyone knows how to do, I have a talent, skills, or whatsoever. It felt like there was something in this life that I was able to do right! No matter what others think about me. Then I met someone who started saying things like “that’s not useful” or “that’s not important” “It wont get you anywere” “anyone can do it” “just because you know how to crochet (and knit, and sew, and all things creative…) it doesn’t mean you are actually smart”…. I don’t have a degree, I’m 23 and I’m still in college, this person has one and is a couple years older, but they think I’m not smart and that’s why i havent finished college yet. It really got into me, and I couldnt even finish a small project because i was very convinced that I was wasting my time. I dedícated myself to read about polítics, World news, business and “smart” stuff. Then I was in a financial struggle and got to crochet a scarf someone requested. This person has 2 degrees, an important position, he’s president of a Magazine… The day I gave him the scarf he was SO excited!! He praised my work, he couldnt stop saying how awesome It was and how impressive my skills were! It made me feel like I was coming back to life from death!! I was excited about making something for him, but he seemed more excited about having something hand made by me! He made me feel important. And smart.

    We are important and special in so many ways. Lots of people would give anything to be our friends, to just get a cup of coffee and a chat with us. Why do we even care about the people who waste that chance?? F*ck them!! I rather have one good friend that hundreds of fake ones.

  • December 3, 2015 at 9:48 pm
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    If you both could realize that you are on this planet for a reason, and it is God’s wish that you spread your love and caring to all who live here. Then you would not be depressed because you have. I love you and Dan and feel your love. God Bless you both. Dorothy

  • December 3, 2015 at 9:27 pm
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    I’ve been there so many times. I would bring my bag with me to my daughter’s dance classes. I would listen to the other moms talk and just crochet. It let me listen without that awkward feeling of eavesdropping. But, I did find in time I could share a bit occasionally and they would ask questions of me, too, mostly about my project. I don’t socialize well with people I don’t know very well, and my crochet is both my comfort and my crutch. I say if you need it, use it. Especially if it helps you cope with being in public. It is better to use what you need to keep from actually isolating yourself. That’s probably where I would be at times without it.

  • December 3, 2015 at 9:23 pm
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    Yes I understand your feelings … probably with Christmas around we feel a little more down … but keep your spirit high with your creativity. I sometime open my crochet bag or my cookbook or my sewing basket. You are a very good person with lots of inspiration

  • December 3, 2015 at 9:18 pm
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    Oh my gosh finding you on your tutorials I found a best friend that I can click on to when ever I can. With that being said I am not lonely! You are so funny and such a wonderful teacher! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

    • December 3, 2015 at 10:39 pm
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      God has a purpose for all of us and we have all been given special talents. That’s what Pastor T would say. Don’t worry what others think. But in case you care and I think you do, you gave me inspiration to follow new paths the first project I learned from you was the never ending granny square. In the past year or less I’ve used sooo many of your tutorials. Forgive me I’m Narsacistick. spellings off. You have inspired me to try new things!!!! Not just with crochet I went to Missouri Star Quilt Company and made my first quilt with mesurements!!!! Yeah the other ones are “interesting” to say the least. I don’t agree with Christmas being depressing, I feel exactly the opposite. My dad would take us as kids to the rich neighborhoods to see Xmas lights! Little did he know he created a monster!!! My husband says yarn materials & Xmas lights have to be 90% off and have a functional purpose and have a place to put it!!!! Think he just doesn’t want Hoarders to show up. I love you and appreciate having a friend as honest as you. Hope your days get better.
      Beth Bullard

  • December 3, 2015 at 9:14 pm
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    Reading all the comments, I don’t know how much can be added. I can relate to just about every word written. I have my husband who is my one and only true friend and that’s all I need. All my life I stayed to myself. My grandfather once told me “human nature stinks”; that he would help an animal before any human. Today, I’m an animal activatist and a crocheter. I don’t care want an individual thinks of me; first of all they don’t know me but still think they have a right to judge me. Mikey, you have more individuals than you know that are here to support you and care about you and Daniel. You bring joy to us all for the gift of creativity that you share. You are generous with your time that you give us. You are not alone. Even though we may never cross paths I will consider you a friend and we share the compassion of crocheting. The sun will always shine on you. Thank you my friend.

  • December 3, 2015 at 9:13 pm
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    Hi Mikey,

    I’ve always done crochet, I’m a homebody at heart. But at the age of 58 I find myself going through a divorce after 43 years of marriage, loss of a job and facing lung cancer all at the same time. To put my mind off all the bad stuff for a little while, I crochet the crap out of the yarn I’ve got. Sometime I take it apart and make something else from the yarn. I don’t want to run out so I conserve. But if it weren’t for crochet, I probably would have gone crazy by now, so your not alone. Sharon Graham

    • December 3, 2015 at 11:40 pm
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      Sharon (Crackers1956) – At age 55 – I’m in a very similar situation. Crochet helped me cope for the first year or two, and I still crochet, but I find peace in drawing and sewing as well. I’m not very good at the drawing or sewing so I always come back to the crochet. I have loads of yarn to spare, if you trust the internet and the folks at The Crochet Crowd, I’d be happy to share. I’m sure we could work it out somehow.

      Mikey – you do a spectacular job and and Daniel is right. You’ll never please all the people all the time. Focus on yourself, your personal relationships and the wonderful skills you have and share with so many people. Thank you:)

      And, yeah, well it *is* the holiday season, sooo …

  • December 3, 2015 at 9:06 pm
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    Loved this article…and love Mikey and Dan and everyone at the Crochet Crowd. I’m an introvert too, so I can relate to what Mikey wrote…totally relate. So happy you have Diva Dan as your partner!

  • December 3, 2015 at 8:57 pm
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    Crocheting to me is my passion as well as my salvation. There are many times when I find myself lost…I find my hook and yarn and it brings solace to my mind. I have a job where if somebody comes to see it is always something they need or want or I need to handle. Come the days end…me and my yarn. Both you and Diva Dan make my day with your videos and I feel the rapport the two of you have I hope to have with someone one day. Keep on hooking as there are a lot of us right behind you. Love & Kisses sUSAn

  • December 3, 2015 at 8:53 pm
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    Hi, Mickey, you are not nor never alone. Been there, done that so to speak 🙂 I am not embarrassed nor bothered when I pull out my yarn bag and start crocheting in public, whether alone or with my husband. Crocheting in public though as you said seems to tell people to “bug off”, “I want to be left alone”. But we do need some alone time. Like Dayna Fleishmann, I do glance up from time to time with a smile on my face. If it can strike a meaningful conversation, GREAT! If not, so be it. I am happy with my crochet anyway. Life is how we make of it. If you need a paradigm shift, then do so for the better. Furthermore, I am never alone when I am crocheting, my brains are with me, counting hahahaha God bless you and know that your crochet crowd are here for and with YOU <3 <3 <3

  • December 3, 2015 at 8:32 pm
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    This article made me cry to see how painful this is for you. Thank-you so much for your honesty. No, I do not think you are alone in thinking these thoughts. I personally feel very overwhelmed, and socially awkward; and I have never liked crowds of people. I have found close friends that understand me, and I am polite in a crowd but I don’t think I want everyone to be my friend. It sounds exhausting!! I have learned over time just to be me, and do what makes me feel joy inside too. I love to crochet and knit and I bring it everywhere with me, and a few extra hooks and yarn too so I can teach to the curious ones 🙂 I have found that it usually creates conversation, and if it doesnt, I am happy to be doing something I enjoy. I have learned that I thrive on being creative, I need to keep my hands busy and design constantly. I think your happiness should be important to you too, and really only you know what brings you joy and what makes you miserable.
    Thank-you so much for all the tutorials you do!! I couldn’t figure out how to crochet until I was on YouTube and found you. You have inspired me so much with your videos that I have learned to create such fun and amazing pieces that I had never thought I could make. I have a huge love for crochet now because of you! Keep up the amazing work 🙂

  • December 3, 2015 at 8:26 pm
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    Mikey, I am not a very social person either. My yarn was my salvation last year after undergoing a liver transplant. Now it helps me make others happy. Most of my crocheted items are gifted to others. I like seeing the recipients face when they realize I made this for them. So if it makes you happy, do it.

  • December 3, 2015 at 8:24 pm
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    Hi Mikey! I know exactly what you mean. I have days like that too.

  • December 3, 2015 at 8:13 pm
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    The holidays (which are supposed to be happy) can be a time of depression for many people. Think about how many of your “hookers” genuinely care for you. You are not rejected here. You are a kind and sensitive person. Anyone who cannot see that and turns away from you isn’t really worth your pain. Personally, I am a “loner”. My philosophy is if someone chooses to not like me,,, so be it. Move on and be with those who really love you for who you are. Feel lucky that you and Daniel have each other. Think about this…when you crochet in public anyone who really wants to speak with you will stop whether or not you are paying attention to them… THEN you can take those personal moments when they happen. It would be exhausting to be friends with everyone. And it’s superficial. REAL friends are what matter. TCC loves you, for whatever that’s worth. I know it’s not “up close and personal”, but we feel sad when you are sad, and we love to laugh with you and Daniel when you act goofy. I hope you cheer up and live your life according to what Mikey wants. Wishing you both a wonderful and happy holiday season!! (and thank you for all you do for us!)

  • December 3, 2015 at 8:10 pm
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    It must be a full moon, I’ve been crying on and off all day. I have been trying to do my crochet hat the one you have a video on. Stepping texture hat. I finished it and tore it out because it was to big.. now I just cant get the rows right. they all end on the wrong stich. Ive been crocheting for about three years and I am still no good at it. But I keep trying. I am 63 retired but work half days and watch my grandson every morning. I have socal anziaty, all my life and I also have herd from my daughter a comment about crocheting when at a gathering like thanksgiving or such. You only crochet so you dont have to talk to any one. You just dont get it you never had it…

  • December 3, 2015 at 8:06 pm
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    I am a loom knitter (with techniques learned from Mikey’s videos!). I got started when I observed a woman at my son’s school using a loom in the cafeteria during a holiday event. I am outspoken and gregarious and I asked her about her craft. She generously shared with me and said she had learned from videos. This was the beginning of a 7-year journey into looming. It never occurred to me that maybe she was looming to shut herself away from the crowd, though that was a possibility. I would say you get many admiring glances at your work and the opportunity for many conversation starters and the sharing of your craft. I know many people but I never think that every I know is my friend. I don’t worry that they are my friend. If you can be comfortable in your own skin, everything else is okay. Thank you, Mikey, for sharing your talent whether online or in person.

    • December 3, 2015 at 10:34 pm
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      Mikey and Dan
      We all have bad days. It’s ok to want to isolate yourself sometimes from less than nice people . In fact you should. Some people will love and accept you and Dan for the great gifted people you are and some won’t. You bring a great deal of joy to people , you already know that and though I have never met either of you I think it is remarkable that you two love each other so much and both like to crochet ! My husband a sweet guy but to him crochet smochet ? 🙂
      Don’t be so hard on yourself you are happy a lot of the time I just bet !

      Terry Winoker

  • December 3, 2015 at 7:48 pm
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    Mikey, I swear I feel the exact same way! I am quite an introvert, and while I have trained myself to be mostly okay with “people-ing,” as I call it, in very specific situations, I definitely prefer to just whip out my current project EVERYWHERE I go. The dark hole of isolation is an interesting place… it’s safe because it’s just you, but, that’s just it, it’s just you. (An your selected close people.) It’s terribly lonely. So, anyway, hugs and love from someone else who prefers crocheting to people-ing, to you!

  • December 3, 2015 at 7:33 pm
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    You are most certainly not alone! I’m pretty introverted, in a job that more of less forces me to be extroverted and interact withe people from all sorts of walks of life. It can be exhausting and frustrating, but at the core I love it. Sometimes you need to protect your soul from what is eating away at it for the moment. While burying your head in a project may seem isolating (and sometimes I’ve certainly wanted it to be), the very act can prompt some people to talk to you. I’ve found that some people are genuinely curious about what you’re doing or want to share a memory of a loved one who crochet or knit. Even in times where I’ve used crochet to be isolating, there was usually someone who took the time to break down my wall i built up around myself.

    I also try and take time time to figure out why I’m feeling isolated. What is it about what’s going on that makes me feel that way? Is it something I can control? Am I just in a funk? Writing it out steam of conscious style usually helps. I can get it all off my chest so to speak, but not feel like I have to share it with anyone (and I usually don’t). Maybe it’s my training as a scientist and a teacher, but the figuring it out part is the biggest help to me.

  • December 3, 2015 at 7:32 pm
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    My Dear Mikey,
    I am 63 years old. Eight years ago I started a way of life that has been very freeing of these negative thoughts and ideas. Today I know it is not any of my business what others think of me. When I’m in the situation you described I try to be kind. If they choose not to accept me then they were not meant to be a part of my life.
    There are no coincidences. We are where we are supposed to be. You are a very special person and bring joy to more people than you even know. I’d say you are a Blessing. Now, I want you to believe it, too!

  • December 3, 2015 at 7:30 pm
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    Pull out the yarn bag… even if you feel like you are isolating yourself more – you really aren’t! I find that those who are really interested in ME…. are also curious about what I am doing. I find that crocheting in public actually helps me integrate myself better into the situation – simply because it helps me cope.

  • December 3, 2015 at 7:30 pm
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    I’ve lived with chronic pain for half my life. Add to that the last year has had me off work with anxiety and depression. Crochet helps me to take my mind off of all I can’t do and it also allows me to express my love for those that have stood with me through it all. There aren’t many but they are my chosen family. Choose those that love you and show you and accept that you’re an introvert and that’s okay. So much easier when you recognize it and allow yourself the freedom to live your way. (And there are days when it’s easier said than done 😉 )

  • December 3, 2015 at 7:29 pm
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    Mikey, thank you for sharing your feelings. I know exactly how you feel, I have my husband and two sons and that’s it. We don’t have any friends and we are entirely alone. However, that being said, my husband is my best friend and so are my sons. I do get lonely sometimes and then out comes my crochet. Nothing makes me happier than finishing something new and showing it to my family. I was recently retrenched from work and crochet is what got me through. It gave me a purpose to get up in the morning. My grandmother once told me not to worry about lack of friends or what others think of me. She said ‘they don’t pay your rent, so why should you worry what they think”. Crochet Crowd gets me through my day and you should be so proud of what you and your team have created. Thank you for everything and know that you may not have physical friends but you have a whole community of friends who crochet along with you on a regular basis.

  • December 3, 2015 at 7:22 pm
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    Mikey…keep going and just be you…the best you that you can be in each moment is all that can be expected…whether that is having a bad day and coping by taking out your crochet in public, heck why not…it gets you through a tough situation…a lot of peeps can’t look beyond things and see beauty where there is a lot…they just see what they perceive to be or what what they want to see…some are just hate filled, some are jealous, some are just ignorant/innocent of things or peeps that are different from them, believe it or not lol…some don’t know how to react when they see someone doing things that they have never seen…i know i’m not making much sense but it comes from my heart…because i know…i used to be a productive “normal” person in society…i tried to be quiet and stay out of peoples way lol in 2003 i became ill with severe motor and vocal tics and boy did that put me on anyone and everyone’s radar i think you can hear my vocal tics for a mile lol i run across all kinds out in public…but, i am limited in what i can do and where i can go because of my illness…so i find solace in my crochet and hand crafts…i feel productive once again and worthwhile and like i am contributing to something somewhere…like i count….what you do is on a much much grander scale so please feel well for what you do…i have crocheted for years my ma taught me when i was very young…and i learn a lot from you even after 30 plus years of crocheting…and just seeing your joy brings joy to me and i know from the comments that i am not the only one that feels this way…God made us each with something unique and some ability that others may not have…a special touch…so enjoy it and keep using it for YOUR needs as well as for the needs of peeps like me…and just remember there will always be haters and that is their loss their deficiency…NOT YOURS!!! wishing you well <3

  • December 3, 2015 at 7:20 pm
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    I know what your saying! I don’t get out any more to meet people I sometimes go out when my radio DJ’s are doing prom’s at Toyota car lots or Boot barn . I know the DJ’s pretty good but after I say hello and telling them that I’m doing good I just set there in my chair and Crochet till some one asks me what I’m making so I tell them and that’s the end of it no more talking, Just like this weekend I was making the from the middle baby blanket the DJ ask me what I was making and what kind of yarn I was using ( P.S she has no idea what kind of yarns I use) But that’s OK with me she’s a nice person anyway I like her a lot. I.m not much of a talker anyway but if I saw you crocheting somewhere I’d set with you and talk a little (pick your brain) for any info. on any subject. I can only hope one day I’ll meet you and Diva Dan you too boys crake me up all the time when I see your video’s Love you both Gladys

  • December 3, 2015 at 7:12 pm
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    Ha, I’ve never thought of it as such, but I guess I dare to be different. I’m not ‘way out there’ different, but I insist on being me, myself and I. If I don’t crochet in public, I sketch, so I end up spending a lot of time observing. A lot of folk look very uncomfortable in their own skin, sitting on their own in a cafe (I’m using this as an example cos that’s where I love to sit) but whether I’m sketching or crocheting, I’m relaxed and enjoying looking up now-and-then to people watch. I agree with what’s been said, many a time folk have come over to ask a question, but equally I realise others steer away… such is life.

  • December 3, 2015 at 7:11 pm
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    I find absolutely nothing wrong with pulling out my crochet or headphones and my phone to watch netflix when I’m in public. I am an introvert, I CAN’T do small talk, people scare me and I’m much more comfortable if I HAVE to be in public, keeping myself busy and calmed/joyous by doing what makes me happy. Keep doing what you are doing! If you can make the effort to be sociable and find that it is painful, there is nothing wrong with doing what you need to make yourself happy and calm. Who knows…that in itself might bring someone to you that IS meant to be your friend.

  • December 3, 2015 at 7:07 pm
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    It is both Mikey! You get to make yourself feel better while avoiding people who aren’t interested in us anyway. By being yourself and crocheting, people who are interested in crochet or a guy who crochets are pretty much the only ones who will approach you. I am only approached by potential or fellow crocheters when I crochet in public and that is fine with me. I am really not interested in knowing everyone or being judged by anyone.

  • December 3, 2015 at 7:00 pm
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    Dearest Mikey…I’ve only just begun to follow you, your crochet, and your story. I read your post today when a friend shared with me and frankly, I simply wished that you were close enough to share a hug.
    People are weird…and it’s often difficult to find those people who are compatibly weird. If you’re lucky, you find multiple people who share your particular version of weird.
    I’m glad that you’ve found an outlet for your sad days…we certainly all have sad days, days where we feel very alone. My transgender daughter has many days like this…and at the end of the day, we share a hug and hope for a better tomorrow. So here we are at the end of the day…I’m sharing a virtual hug with you…and hoping tomorrow is a brighter day.
    Thanks for being so honest with us…we must all be compatible with your “weird” because we certainly adore you!

  • December 3, 2015 at 6:58 pm
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    THere are times when I am with long time friends or family that I even find solace in my crochet bag. People I love that I have known and known me all my life or most of it sometimes make me want to crawl into my bag and just crochet. So I understand what you mean. So keep on a hookin and make yourself feel better, thats whats important. YOU are the one that is important.

  • December 3, 2015 at 6:57 pm
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    I loved this article!

    I never thought other people would hide under the guise of crocheting to recuperate from depression or to avoid hurtful and toxic people and spiral into yet another bout of depression.

    I feel you Dan, my thoughts are with you.

  • December 3, 2015 at 6:36 pm
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    Its such an irony that the more techno advanced we become- the more remote in human contact..I live in NYC & as vibrant and exciting a place it can be- its very isolating..Everyone on cell phones, iPods- etc.. I started crocheting as a teen & by my early 20’s- started designing for Coats & Clark..(.for decades) among other yarn companies.. My hook & needles saw me through my fathers early death….To this day- when I have been away from crafting for a few days- when I return to it- there’s an excitement- the colors sing…my world is a warm fuzzy once more…

    Lynne Shipp

  • December 3, 2015 at 6:31 pm
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    It’s better to have one good friend than to have a lot of artificial ones.

  • December 3, 2015 at 6:20 pm
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    Wow! I think you hit the nail on the head for today. I am also feeling low. I go back and forth with my thoughts of how greatful I am to have the opportunity to stay at home and homeschool my youngest, but on the other side I feel very trapped and isolated. When I go out I’m finding less and less I have in common with “normal” society. Conversation is so fake and forced. I have gotten to a point that I just don’t want to talk to people at all. I’m so sick of being judged. I find myself diving head first in my crocheting projects to just mentally get away. Feeling trapped in and out of the house pushes me into my projects, which isn’t a bad thing all the time but seems to start to expand into a prolonged everyday occurrence.
    Thank you for posting this. I think it brought the knowledge that I am not alone in my feelings.

  • December 3, 2015 at 6:17 pm
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    I can understand what you’re saying & how you’re feeling. I also am enjoying reading all these uplifting comments. I’ve been really down for about six weeks now because I broke both bones in my right wrist, had surgery & have a metal plate & pins, blah blah. I’m right handed & really can’t crochet like I want. I can crochet a little & then my wrist starts hurting. I miss it so much?. As far as bringing out my crocheting in public, I do it all the time. As others here have said, ppl usually just take an interest in what I’m doing & I make new friends. I wish sunshine & happiness for you tomorrow & all the days to follow☀️

  • December 3, 2015 at 6:13 pm
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    Start having crochet breakfast/brunch/dinner dates. Invite fellow crocheters in your area at a library/coffee shop/and yarn shop for community interaction. Don’t worry about people who cannot accept your lifestyle or you. If someone want to be your friend, they will make the effort to be your friend.

    • December 3, 2015 at 8:15 pm
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      I think what MIkey is getting at, is he would love to be social but cant handel it long term. I talk a good talk, for about 10 min. then the anxiety starts coming back, so I move on. I think thats MIkey also.

  • December 3, 2015 at 6:09 pm
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    Been there, done that. Although I agree, most times my whip is a conversation starter. That being said, we all can’t be extroverts! In fact, most of us are introverts. I’d suggest you read this book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain.
    http://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352153
    It will help you understand yourself and you’ll be more comfortable in your own skin when you are in situations like today’s.

  • December 3, 2015 at 6:07 pm
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    I find that when I pull out my crocheting in a public place, people will come up to me and ask me what I’m knitting! I laugh and show them the picture of the pattern I’m working on. Fellow crocheters will stop and talk to me and I usually get a compliment. That’s why whenever I see someone crocheting or knitting in public, I always make a point to talk to them, even if it’s just a compliment.

  • December 3, 2015 at 6:03 pm
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    You are a great person inside in your ability to teach all of us crazy crochet people all the stuff you do. You are kind and giving as you don’t want anyone to have to pay for anything on your site which is so so selfless. If you have to take out your yarn bag to deal with it so be it. That is you and you are being real and not fake like a lot of people are. Please continue to be are Rock Mikey you are awesome in a very very special way. <3

  • December 3, 2015 at 5:58 pm
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    I don’t take my crochet with me out in public. Not because I don’t desire to but because I have 4 kids and it’s hard enough to keep them wrangled without working on a project. However, I can see where you’re coming from. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. The vast majority of our society is already looking down at their smart phones to either distract themselves or isolate themselves from having to communicate with others. At least you’re creating something. I think it probably depends a lot of where you live too but even here in the south it feels like the southern hospitality is starting to wane. People don’t want to know about others, they’re too self-involved and wrapped up in their own lives and daily dramas to really stop and get to know other people. It’s sad. I wouldn’t take it personally though. I learned a while back that if I have just a small few people in my life who actually care about me, I’m doing better than a lot of people!

  • December 3, 2015 at 5:56 pm
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    Y-A-R-N = You Are Really Nice. That is what my yarn says to me as I create beautiful items. It must say that to you, Mickey, because your items are truly phenomenal. I’m so thankful that the good Lord put The Crochet Crowd in my path that I don’t remember what it was like without you and Dan. What a day brightener you are! Thanks for being you.

  • December 3, 2015 at 5:46 pm
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    I am a military spouse who suffers from mental illness and an auto-immune disease. The sicker I have gotten through the years, the more depressed I became and the more isolated I became, using crocheting and reading as my replacements for friends. It is already hard enough to explain my illness to people but to people who know within a few years we will be moved or they will be moved due to the military just makes it even harder. I have found myself just not even bothering to try and put myself out there. I crochet and read, I read and crochet. I don’t have to explain to my books and my projects why I have to cancel plans, whether it be because I just want to cry from depression or because at 26 I can barely get out of bed in the morning because of my auto-immune disease. I think these have become ways to self isolate and I can make myself feel less guilty by throwing in something like “well at least I don’t have to get dressed today. I can finally finish that project I’m working on.” I think it can be healing but for some, especially like me who are predisposed to isolation and anxiety, it is hard not to cross the line. I find myself pulling further and further away from the outside world and what better excuse than my love of “hooking”. Sounds kind of sad typing that out. Thank you for sharing Mikey. I was in tears reading it.

  • December 3, 2015 at 5:44 pm
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    I can totally relate. It is sad that at times you find yourself “sad” or “lonely” in a room full of people. I use crocheting as an escape when I can’t quiet down my thoughts. I hope you find yourself in a better mind set before the day is over :).

  • December 3, 2015 at 5:36 pm
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    Well Mikey, we are all learning. And one of the most important things to learn and more or less practice because it takes a lifetime to master, is recognizing those thought patterns not healthy for us. As it’s said, an idle mind (or hands) is the devil’s workshop and crochet becomes the thing to focus the mind off of what is negative and putting action into something positive. But know this, you are valued and you are loved for who you are not what you do. And you’re worth is not found in others, but in that mirror you see every morning.

  • December 3, 2015 at 5:36 pm
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    Mikey and Diva Dan, I’ve been admiring you both from California for some time now and even though I find myself knitting instead of crocheting (I know, boo, hiss), I still follow you both on social media. That being said, I agree with you wholeheartedly that if I want to pull out my yarn, I’m not isolating myself but enjoying myself. If someone wants to talk with me, I will talk with them. Knitting or crocheting is soothing and if I find myself an “outsider” (which happens a lot in this podunk town), then I’ll do as I please. For me, it’s far less rude than to have someone on their phone or listening to music with headphones. The lyrices from Garden Party come to mind: If you can’t please everyone, you’ve got to please yourself. xoxo

  • December 3, 2015 at 5:35 pm
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    I usually don’t bring my crochet with me, but I may start doing that. I am alone most of the day and I enjoy that time. I often crochet to deal with sadness, anger, and hurt. Also, it helps me when we have had a disagreement. It helps me process what happened and not lash out in anger or say hurtful things because I am hurt.

  • December 3, 2015 at 5:34 pm
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    You truly are a gifted and thoughtful person who brings so much happiness to many people. I can not imagine a world without you. When I think of crochet, I instantly think of you. You are so giving of your time and talent. I hope you know how much you are truly appreciated and admired. Not everyone will “get us” and that’s ok. Just love and be with those who do. Surround yourself with others who think and love the things you do. Build your own world, don’t let the world build it for you. You are the master and commander of your own journey. I think opening your bag and crocheting is a wonderful way to heal your spirit and bring calm into your life at that moment. Keep on crocheting, we need you. 🙂

  • December 3, 2015 at 5:33 pm
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    I am an introvert. My crochet is my solace. I feel so much like you do. Sometimes my project is a spark that starts a conversation. Other times it can be kind of a problem. I crochet in church while listening to the sermon. It helps me concentrate. Several members have actually complained to the Pastor that they didn’t think it was right and that it was rude. When I first starting going to the church, I told that Pastor that is how I helped concentrate. He was plenty fine with it. I make scarves, shawls, and baby blanket for anyone who wants or needs one. I am shy and introverted. My Husband is outgoing and extroverted. So he knows that sometimes too many people overwhelm me. I have even taught people to crochet and got people making scarves and such for charity. But, it can be disheartening when people are so rude. People need to get over themselves and let people be.

  • December 3, 2015 at 5:24 pm
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    I can relate and empathise. I have been low for a long time now, a very drawn out health issue is partly to blame but I do have a propensity to depression. I have rediscovered my childhood passion for crochet and it gives me joy where there was none before. I started with colouring in ‘therapy’ as a way of overcoming a ‘put down’ I realised I carried with me from childhood about being useless at art. Well maybe I’m no Rembrant or Picasso but so what; I love to work with colour and be creative. Crochet gives me all of that too. Colour and creativity. You wanna know something? My first project? A shawl that I made following one of your video tutorials!!! Oh yes! So ya boo sucks to the people that don’t see your worth. Their loss! Keep on shining ‘cos those of us who see you, need you for guidance when our sparkle is dull. Even though the saying goes “never let anyone dull your sparkle” it happens to all of us now and then. Hopefully when you feel low you’ll be reminded by our light just how brightly you shine. Thank you. xXx

  • December 3, 2015 at 5:22 pm
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    I often feel just as you describe, especially since losing my best friend, partner in crime, and husband of 37 years back in 2011. I think it’s perfectly fine to crochet yourself through the rough patches. If someone has been unkind, cruel, or hateful to you, one piece of advice is that they don’t deserve any real estate in your head. They really don’t. Give that real estate to the people you love, your friends, your many followers here at Crochet Crowd, the good people who appreciate you and wish you well. You’ve built a remarkable community and a wonderful resource, and your personality is reflected in it. The other thing I try to do when the Blue Meanies attack is to work on a project that will do some good. With me, it’s warm beanies to be shared with people who have no homes. It might be something else for you–chemo caps, lap afghans for older folks, lovies for sick babies–it will give you a warm glow and eventually chase the doldrums away.

    Just remember how many people appreciate you and regard you as a friend, even though you haven’t met. If you’re ever in my neighborhood, why, just come on in. We’ll have a cuppa and just sit and crochet and talk.

  • December 3, 2015 at 5:21 pm
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    Mikey hugs and more hugs! Been there have went to social activities and came home feeling more lost and alone…Realized my expectatins of others to make me feel happy, accepted, welcomed was much too high. Now I go, walk around say hi chat then when I feel like quality time I sit down take out my project bag and allow others to come and chat… I have gotten amazing combinations and into unusual conversations being the first to sit at a table for a meal. Guess what I never feel alone anymore even when I sit at a table by myself!!!

  • December 3, 2015 at 5:19 pm
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    I understand that feeling, Mikey. I have a lot of anxiety, and knitting or working on a “fiber craft” helps me stay relaxed and focused. Sometimes it does invite conversation, but sometimes I actually use it as a sort of yarn wall to hide behind when I can’t deal with interacting with others. Looking up sporadically is good for your eyes as well as keeping yourself tuned in to the outside world a little. Keep your head up and keep on hooking. Seems like you’ve found a good circle of friends with this group. 😉

  • December 3, 2015 at 5:17 pm
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    I understand what you mean. I personally am very introverted. I can come out of my shell if I have to, for say work or parties I may be hosting, but otherwise I just stick to myself. I am the only single person in my group so it kind of puts me on the outside looking in whether I want to be or not. I think I turn to my creativity to show that I can amuse myself and don’t really need the outside world’s approval. I constantly have my yarn a flyin’ when I’m home or my wood burning projects sizzling’. My Nieces and nephews always see me crafting and they know that mine is the house where they can let loose their creative bug. Its like a safe haven.
    When I travel (flights) I take it along so I can forget the world around me if I am alone. If I am with someone and I get luck enough to not have to drive I can chat and create at the same time and helps feel more myself. Thank you for sharing a bit of yourself here today Mikey 🙂

  • December 3, 2015 at 5:11 pm
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    Today is so much different than years gone by. People seem to be in a hurry, trying to get things done as fast as they can. They are glued to their phones and would rather text than talk. It is a weird time. I have always been a very social person, but I find it hard these days to have even a quick exchange of words with someone…they are just not interested in spending time talking to someone else. Most of these people are missing out on life. I wonder if they have a hobby that brings them joy? I would say that they do not!! We have our crochet, and we have thousands of people we are connected with that also love crochet. It is our responsibility to find happiness in what we do and how we live. It does not matter what other people think and I do not waste my time trying to figure other people out. Crochet on, live happy, be silly, surround yourself with the ones you love and the ones that love you. Life is too short not to have joy in every day!!

  • December 3, 2015 at 5:06 pm
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    Hi Mickey,

    Remember, energies you pick up from other people are all theirs. Their stuff is not your stuff. See it and let it go! We all have days like this and we just have to remind ourselves of who we are and keep loving ourselves.
    Crochet (or any craft for that matter) is the greatest therapy, great meditative tool. Get lost in it and come out the other end feeling rejuvenated. The best therapy!!!
    Remember you are the best you can be, I am the best I can be, we all have our path. Not everyone will approve, but that is their problem! Let them do their journey and you keep on yours with love and light!

    You are such an inspiration to so many people, you are a very special soul. Always remember that

    Love and light

    Wanda

  • December 3, 2015 at 5:06 pm
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    I’m there right now – finding it hard to be part of the world – with two children (one of whom I homeschool) I have to be on form every day – but right now I can’t be. So I do what needs to be done to the nest of my ability – and then I crochet. And crochet. And crochet. My sanity is important. I find solace in my crochet therefore I find some sanity too.

  • December 3, 2015 at 5:00 pm
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    We met you at a yarn thingy my friend dragged me to, before I started reading anything from Crochet Crowd, and I am really surprised that you feel that way. You seem so confident, funny and outgoing in person!

    As someone who is very shy, socially-awkward and introverted (and who feels rejected by most people, most of the time, and yes, for years was extremely isolated and depressed due to it, to the point of going to Starbucks to have an adult to talk to), it just goes to show that appearances don’t always mean reality.The fact is, most of us are struggling with similar feelings, even the confident, funny ones- hence your yarn. Or everyone staring at phones. Not to mention, the huge popularity of Elsa from Frozen- the outsider so many of us feel ourselves to be.

    As far as self-isolation in public, most of us use phones or books if we don’t have yarn. Sometimes, it’s not a good choice, because we can meet new people and have a more community feeling in the line we’re in, or wherever we’re waiting, or any public situation, really. But sometimes, we need alone time (especially if we are introverts) or are surrounded by people who don’t want to talk (airplanes). I will use anything to give me that time! My parents will even use books when they are visiting me. This is because we are not socially able to handle much time or intensity of social interactions. This is unhealthy. Using a phone in a moving crowd or in a line where the people near you aren’t chatty is fine.

    I think most of the time, if we are in public, we are not going to do much close interaction, so we are missing the chance to meet people peripheral to our lives- important in as much as it’s a communal experience, and they may become friends later (if they live near us), but not as key I think as interacting with people at work or close friends. If we use yarn or phones or business (being busy- not work!) to distance ourselves from people we actually know and care about, who need us and who are our family and friends, then we are cutting ourselves short, cutting people out of our lives needlessly, and that is a danger, definitely. (I do think introverts should get some slack and alone time, since we get crazy and awful if we don’t. BUT should definitely have time we are “present” as well)

    Friendships and relationships are key. If you can make and maintain good friendships, you are good. If not, I’d think about why not. I know I need friends and don’t know how to make or maintain those friendships, and it’s the unhealthiest thing in my life by far. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, personally, but am trying to figure it out and work on it. As for you, having more than one relationship is very healthy, and having time set aside to spend with them is good- even if it’s just a small group who crochets together or does another hobby, or coffee with a friend or two every week.

    Hope you feel better soon. Maybe it’s just a dreary, sad day like we all have, and maybe it’s a real worry that’s in your head and you want to spend a little effort to ensure your life is headed in the direction you want. It’s hard to tell. Having felt similar things to you and thinking about it a lot over the past 5 years or so, that’s what I’ve come up with, and I hope it’s helpful.

    Also, if it brightens your day, 2 of my friends love your videos and think you’re the best, and you actually managed to show me how to make thhe rainbow spiral blanket I made last year for my daughter, which is a miracle, since I’m a terrible learner. So we don’t reject you, and are very glad to have you in our lives, however one-way it has been.

    • December 4, 2015 at 7:19 am
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      “As someone who is very shy, socially-awkward and introverted (and who feels rejected by most people, most of the time, and yes, for years was extremely isolated and depressed due to it, to the point of going to Starbucks to have an adult to talk to), it just goes to show that appearances don’t always mean reality.”

      I really don’t see this type of person in this post. Honestly, while reading it, I found you to be completely opposite. Could it be the cloak of anonymity?

  • December 3, 2015 at 4:59 pm
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    And isn’t it odd? I, too, feel the same way, most of the time, but I’m pretty much a hermit and it doesn’t bother me so much. I’ve got my own small group of friends, but when I’m in a large group of people, I tend to observe more than participate. I kind of blame the internet, it’s a case of thinking it’s giving you contact with so many more people around the world than you would normally be able to connect with. You can hop online and easily find groups of people who all think the same way you do, or have the same interests, and chat away. Then, you head out into the real world and expect everyone to be like that same interest group you’re involved in online. I think the best cure for these sorts of things is to find local meetings related to the things you’re interested in, or the things you believe.

    • December 3, 2015 at 5:05 pm
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      And I do hope you’re feeling better. You always seem to be such a cheerful person, and you’ve given me such enjoyment, that it’s especially hard to hear you’re feeling down. Hugs to you!

  • December 3, 2015 at 4:58 pm
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    I absolutely feel you. I write about this type of thing all the time in my blog. And as someone who focuses on meditation, knitting and crocheting (I do both) can be isolationist, yes, but it can also interrupt your own thoughts that are bringing you down and allow you to take a step back so that you are not letting them overwhelm you. This is a positive thing. Keep your chin up and your project bag near, but keep trying to be social because I can pretty much guarantee that many of the other people you were around today were feeling just as awkward. Much love!

  • December 3, 2015 at 4:58 pm
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    First of all, I think it’s really awesome that you wrote this blog. It’s really difficult to put yourself out there like that when you’re feeling at your most vulnerable.

    Personally? I do use crochet (and knitting, and reading, and messing with my iPad or my phone) to separate myself from society, but it’s on purpose, and I usually pair all of these things with the ULTIMATE “Do not bother me” sign–headphones! But that’s only when I really do want to be left alone.

    I’m a bit of an oddball where I live (a suburb in Texas). I used to not really have many local friends until I joined a local facebook group of non-believers. Interestingly enough, a lot of the people in the group shared other traits of mine as well and I now have a good number of friends and some very excellent close friends. Am I close with everyone in the group? Nope. But of those I am close with, most of us are weird in the same ways. We’ve found our tribe! And I think it being a LOCAL group has made a big difference.

    It’s not all wine and roses. I’ve also had some friendships from there go faaaar awry. Turns out sometimes it takes a significant amount of time to realize that you and someone else may not be the good fit you thought. Like you and Daniel said, not everyone will have the same morals, ideas, and life paths as yourself, and that’s okay. It’s even okay to be exposed to those people and keep an open mind about them (barring violent or hateful people–fuck them regardless). But it’s really important to surround yourself with people who you enjoy being with, who make you feel good. You are the company you keep. It can be tough to find your tribe sometime, but they are SO worth it. 🙂

  • December 3, 2015 at 4:57 pm
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    Your experience is yours and valid. I can relate to this as well. Like you I find a place to ground myself, a quiet room, watch a program, nap read a book. When feeling out of sorts for me it is better to draw on my inner strength and get me to a better place. I stop the negative chatter in my being and focus on right now. I get recharged by volunteering at the local foodbank just giving my time and talking with others helps as I am retired due to an acquired brain injury and know I can heal. I have a good relationship in my spiritual walk and I am amazed how many of us are seeking meaningful conversations/ As well I go to a Friday morning Women’s Group and hear from overwhelmed single moms yet we find a laugh somewhere in this gathering. Do what works for you and thank you for sharing Mike. Barb Pollard Nanaimo BC

  • December 3, 2015 at 4:56 pm
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    It’s interesting that you say when you crochet in public you get the impression you’re separating yourself from society. I’ve found that I get lots of questions. I don’t mind answering them and it quite often starts conversations on other topics. I take my crochet with me everywhere because I like to keep my hands busy. My latest baby blanket has been at soccer games, swim meets, robotics competitions and many many meetings. I’ve even taken it to a restaurant when I knew my husband and a friend of his were going to be there several hours. It keeps me occupied and I can still participate in the conversation. As we were leaving, I had someone ask what I was making and ended up with a new friend. Sometimes the crochet can act as an icebreaker instead of a barrier.

  • December 3, 2015 at 4:55 pm
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    Actually, I find crochet a conversation starter, I make bookmakers and always carry a spare, usually someone will ask me what I am making and I take out the finished one and give it to them, I have actually taught someone to crochet while waiting in the doctors office for my husband.

  • December 3, 2015 at 4:54 pm
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    It is a bit of a fine line, that’s for sure.

    My brother is a social researcher and he has shown me some interesting research that suggests social groups are extremely important for overall well-being. He suggested that doctors would maybe one day consider prescribing groups for individuals to join in addition to other treatment options for ailments like depression, PPD, or drug and alcohol recovery. This doesn’t mean hanging out with a groups of friends – but something like a club where you have something in common to bond and form a type of social cohesion and purpose over. It’s the sense of group membership that provides the positive outcomes for people. So things like crochet or knitting groups, tennis clubs, bingo clubs, book clubs, new mommy groups etc. You should start a crochet group in your community that way you can turn what can be an isolating (but extremely enjoyable) activity into one that is social.

  • December 3, 2015 at 4:51 pm
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    I hope you are feeling happier by now. I think you did the right thing, working on your crochet. Actually, I don’t think that that has to be an isolating experience as people might well approach you to find out what you are doing, or just comment on your work. I love seeing people’s projects.

  • December 3, 2015 at 4:50 pm
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    Oh Mikey you are so REAL!! Everyone gets low sometimes, and some of us kinda live there full time with a few random bobs above water now and again. I’ve found that allowing yourself to accept small commonalities and agree to not pay attention to each others’ differences is helpful. I like to join both local and online groups with specific interests (everything from parenting to crochet to kombucha brewing). It’s also ok to say that these people aren’t good for your health and that you need to gain distance from them. There are plenty of really great people in the world just waiting for you to let them know you’re ready for them.

    • December 4, 2015 at 1:00 pm
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      Right on, Jessica. and Mikey, you said it for yourself: “It’s just a matter of reminding myself not to allow others to make me feel inferior. I just have to keep saying that to myself and deal with it.” Also remind yourself that you have a jillion like-minded friends in the Crochet Crowd.

  • December 3, 2015 at 4:49 pm
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    I’ve recently discovered The Crochet Crowd, am new to crocheting and love your tutorials! They are easy to follow and your voice is incredibly soothing when I get frustrated with figuring out a new stitch. I suffer from anxiety, can’t stand large crowds and only have a small handful of people I’m truly comfortable with. While my anxiety is not debilitating it can be very intrusive on my life especially with my high stress job. Crocheting helps me to calm my self down and focus on something I can control and enjoy. It centers me and I can then focus on what’s important and not worry about others. Keep doing what you’re doing! Not all of us are meant to be comfortable amongst others, I prefer to hang out with my dog and fiancé and enjoy the quiet, comfortable conversation . Find joy in knowing yourself and what you love, that’s what matters most.

  • December 3, 2015 at 4:46 pm
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    Mikey, around this time of year a lot people feel the same way do not know if it’s the holidays, or the gray sky’s of winter. I do know that I take vitamin D really helps. I crochet because I choose not to have friends. I am happy in my life but friends can be mean without knowing they are. I talk to everybody but do not think everyone wants you to be a friend or should be. So pickup your and keep going.

    • December 3, 2015 at 4:48 pm
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      Wanted to say pick your hook and keep going you are strong

    • December 4, 2015 at 7:09 am
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      If friends can be mean without knowing…then why not tell them, so they can know?

  • December 3, 2015 at 4:46 pm
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    Oh, Mikey, I know that feeling all too well. Sometimes I feel more alone when I’m surrounded by people than by myself. Just know that your quirky little videos and posts have cheered me up more times than I can count! Hope you’re soon feeling back to your chipper, quirky, adorable self. I love you’re weirdness and sense of humor!

  • December 3, 2015 at 4:45 pm
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    I have found that a yarn bag in a public place is a great conversation starter. And it will be with like minded individuals. I have talked to several people about their knitting projects while waiting for the dentist, at DMV, or at a church activity.

  • December 3, 2015 at 4:38 pm
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    I am right with you! I am alone most of the day and I crochet to keep myself sane. I carry my bag everywhere I go, however when I’m in public I make sure to look up often while I am crocheting. That way you have a conversation starter if you notice someone eyeing your project! I have had many connections with strangers over yarn and/or crocheting.

    Keep your head up, you are amazing, and we all go through “touch patches” wish I lived closer you seem like someone who would be fun to just be around and hook….

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