Diva Dan, Daniel Zondervan

The Past Bites: Moving Forward

Mikey, The Crochet Crowd

Mikey, The Crochet Crowd

I am Michael Sellick, known online as 'Mikey', I am the founder and leader of The Crochet Crowd. I'm a 'hooker' at heart with the passion to crochet and play with yarn.

57 thoughts on “The Past Bites: Moving Forward

  • August 28, 2015 at 3:22 pm
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    Thank you for sharing. I am happy to learn more about you and Dan. I read everything you post. The good the bad and the ugly. My husband and myself have had similar thing happen to us. I love getting to know you better even though we have never met face to face. Everyone has a past and I am no different. I love my yarn but sometimes you just need to share what you are or have gone through.
    I found out a few years ago that I have bi-polar / manic depressive disorder. So I’m no stranger to mental illness. I love that you share and it makes me feel like I’m not alone when I see that you and Dan have had your own issues in the past. I love this community and would want you to change a thing. This is a place I feel I can come to and know that you are just like me. Much love and respect to you Mikey and Dan.
    And as for the people who don’t like the sharing of feeling and past life experiences. You don’t have to like it. This is a give and take community. I see it as a family. And if you can’t share with your family then who can you share with. No one is forcing you to read it and no one is forcing you to come here.

  • August 28, 2015 at 2:26 pm
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    Michael and Daniel,

    I found the following saying: “The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it.”

    Yes, the stories need to be told even they are difficult to discuss. People need to stop labeling and unite and support each other.

    I want to say thank you for sharing, but want to give a big hug for being the person(s) you are……YOU!

    The Crochet Crowd is now part of my family, no it’s not all about crocheting , it about inspiration, being confident, being who we are as individuals, yes we are all different but we are the same……………….We have a Heart, a Soul and most of all Love.

  • August 28, 2015 at 2:26 pm
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    Your story about Daniel struck home with me. My mother was a paranoid schizophrenic from the time she was 12 years old, long before I came along. My father passed away when I was 9, so I was left as the caregiver and basically the adult in my household. She had years where things were really bad, but months at a time when she was in a good place with her meds. While other kids were enjoying school and being involved in sports and social situations, I was watching over my mother. I can’t tell you how many times I came home from school and found her overdosed on her meds and alcohol. She knew when I would be home and used it to manipulate me or the situation. In my adulthood I had to go to the courts and have her placed in a nursing facility for her own safety. The last few years were very good. She had lots of activities in the home and I could bring her home on weekends about once a month for long visits. April 11, this year she called and left me a message saying she just wanted to say “hi” and I could hear her asking the staff about Bingo. Late that night, actually about 1 AM, the police knocked on my door to notify me that my mother had passed away. It was shocking and sad, but at the same time it was almost a relief. The terrible things that were in her mind could no longer torture her and for the first time in many years, I knew she was at peace. Please give Daniel a big hug for me. People who haven’t dealt with a mentally ill parent don’t quite understand as well as those of us who have shared in the nightmare. Love and hugs to you both!

  • August 28, 2015 at 11:58 am
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    Thank you Mikey for sharing. I appreciate your honesty and it gives me comfort (as strange as that sounds). I say that because I too have relationship / family issues I’m dealing with and however it turns out I will be Ok. Thanks for keeping it real.

  • August 28, 2015 at 11:28 am
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    When I sit with my friends and crochet (and knit), we talk about a LOT of things… Most of them are not about our projects or yarn and they have become some of my closest friends! I have found that it’s just as important to talk about these things as it is to work on our projects to keep our sanity and work through the things going on in our lives — the good, the bad, and the ordinary. Thank you so much for all that you do for this crochet community… including sharing your very personal stories. It’s not a free pattern or video, but it is certainly just as important to a crochet community as those tangible things. (No one is forced to read… or listen to our personal stories. I’m thankful I read yours today.)

  • August 28, 2015 at 10:32 am
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    Yes I love getting to k ow Mikey and Dan over and above yarn. The more you learn,about one another the stronger relationships get even if you never meet face to face. Keep those stories coming both good bad happy or sad. Just know that 95%of your community stands by you both and supports you both. We also all have shoulders incase you need them to cry on. We love you Mikey and Dan!!! Keep doing what you do. ❤?????

  • August 28, 2015 at 9:46 am
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    Thanks for sharing a piece of your life with us. Some days we may feel alone in our life struggles and reading your article today was inspiring. While I may not have a Diva Dan or a Mikey to stand behind me it tickles me pink that you two have found each other. My daughter always claims that everyone has a soul mate and maybe you two were meant to be and the struggles you faced were what lead you to each other. I love being part of the family of the crochet crowd – and that’s what it feels like – a large international family. Things are shared, craft, joy, sad, giggles, ups, downs and yes there’s always the nasty family member. Thanks Mikey and Dan for letting us share a look back, even a painful one. Chin up, looking forward to your next giggle because with you two there’s always one right around the corner!

  • August 28, 2015 at 8:21 am
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    Hugs and Loves to you both! You are both beautiful people with beautiful hearts.

  • August 28, 2015 at 2:09 am
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    Mikey by heck i gone through a packet of tissues i think its great that you can talk about your with Dan its so so moving its great to open up to other people than to bury it to the back of your mind do you yourself feel better talking about it you guys have got a great future together and having that bond off being able to talk of family and be there for each other is what you need you keep going with these stories love listening to them we got big shoulders give great hugs here it the crochet crowd love you both to bits xxx

  • August 28, 2015 at 1:57 am
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    Stories like these may make some of you uncomfortable, but they absolutely need to be told. My own mother experienced horrible trauma as a child because her mom was schizophrenic. That was an experience that touches our lives 70 years later. My mother never got over the trauma and it affected her ability to be a good mother to me. It also touched into my own life as an adult. My stepchildren have a bio mom who is also schizophrenic and my eldest daughter struggles with mental illness now.

    These things need to be told, because for every trauma revealed and every mental illness diagnosed, there are 10 that are hidden. My kids felt horrible because their mom did bad things to them. Now that they can understand that it wasn’t their mother who was bad,that she loves them dearly, but she just isn’t always with herself. I had real issues with my mom until she talked about her autism and her mother.

    If nobody reveals this stuff, the cycle of fear and hatred just continue. It’s OK to talk about it. It needs to be out there. I walked with my daughter through mental wards, suicidal thoughts, cutting, …. I didn’t do all the right stuff but maybe other parents, grandparents, teachers, friends will have a better clue when they understand what we have been through before.

    Thanks Mike and Dan for sharing from your heart something very painful. Please know that I appreciate this and there are lots of us out here just working through it, one double crochet at a time.

    • Mikey, The Crochet Crowd
      August 28, 2015 at 8:02 am
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      thank you for sharing your story. It does affect Daniel to this day. It will always be a trigger point. Daniel will always defend someone of mental illness because he realizes it’s something they cannot help and because when people usually get mental illness, they are typically abandoned and rejected.

  • August 28, 2015 at 1:35 am
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    I’m glad that you shared this part of your lives; as someone said this is more than just a crochet crowd, it’s a real community. I’m also glad that you and Daniel can talk about such things. i took care of my mother with severe Alzheimer’s for many, many years and she didn’t know who I was anymore. But one day she sat on the sofa and said to me, “I think I have marriage problems.” It blew me away because my Dad had passed many years before, but you know what she said about why she was having marital problems? she said, “We don’t talk anymore.” And I thought even in her Alzheimer’s state she knew what was important in a relationship. God bless you both and us all for all the things we have been through

  • August 28, 2015 at 1:35 am
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    Mikey and Dan,

    I think it is very brave to open your hearts and share so many aspects of your lives with us. Your story brought me to tears and hurt my heart to think of the pain both of you felt during the years before you found each other.

    I waited many years to find the right man in my life and I thank God for him every day. He started dating me knowing that I have Multiple Sclerosis. He didn’t bat an eyelash or run away and now has become my caregiver. We talk and share everything like you and Dan and I think that is what keeps our relationship strong.

    As far as Darlene not liking your post…I think she handled it in a very rude and unkind manner. I am also not sure why Lynn Marie put quotes around the word love referring to you and Dan. I am not sure what she was inferring but it was not necessary. If you ladies do not like how the group is run or what is shared, you should either scroll past the story or find a group more suited to your “tastes”.

    Keep doing what you do Mikey and Dan…we LOVE you!!

  • August 28, 2015 at 12:54 am
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    Mikey and Daniel truly a touching story. Love the Crochet Crowd. Blessings to both of you.

  • August 28, 2015 at 12:31 am
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    I personally liked this article. I like to know people. I, too, have a past that I could not face for a long time. I doubt anyone wants to hear it; so, I won’t go into it. Crochet is an art form. Artists are people. People talk, share, have a past, etc. I don’t have many friends. Things like this article help me feel connected. I wish I felt I could share more, but I don’t. If someone doesn’t like it, they can move on. Keep doing what feels right for you, Mikey. It takes strength to put yourself out there. Good for you.

  • August 27, 2015 at 11:48 pm
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    Loved what you said. Took me 46 years to find my human. hes a wizend old so n so but we rub along well and we just simply work. Life with him is a challenge as he has care needs,but i would rather life with than without. *HUGS* to you both from this side of the pond.You both are a refreshing breath of air.
    Rachel plymouth U.K

  • August 27, 2015 at 11:24 pm
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    Thank you for sharing your story this must have been so difficult to put into words and post. I just want you to know how grateful I am for all that you and Daniel do for all of “us”. So generous with your time, talent and dedication to The Crochet Crowd. My grandmother use to tell me that some people are givers and some are takers, you and Daniel are both definitely givers. 🙂

  • August 27, 2015 at 10:52 pm
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    You are both brave compassionate men that help make this topsy turvy world a better place to live in … Thx for keeping it real.

  • August 27, 2015 at 10:49 pm
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    Thank you guys for sharing your pain and the happiness and love you have both found. I have read that whatever does not kill you will make you stronger and Dan proves that. Please feel free to share any personal stuff with us, your community, and we will cry or celebrate with you. Bless you both.

  • August 27, 2015 at 10:48 pm
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    I think it took a lot of guts to write this article and it made me feel closer to both Mikey and Dan. It is unusual for a group like this but for Mikey to come to us with this story means he needed to vent and felt we would understand. Thank you Mikey for feeling you could share yourself and Dan’s story with us. I am sure if Dan didn’t want it out there Mikey wouldn’t have published it. I am so glad you both have someone you can lean on now and be happy with. I love you guys. You put a smile on my face when I watch you. Take care and HUGS!

  • August 27, 2015 at 10:41 pm
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    OMG! This really hit me hard! Although my past is not the same as yours and Dan’s, I can relate! I had an ex-fiancé who was physically and mentally abusive to me because he was a raging alcoholic and schizophrenic (the latter I did not know until after his death). He would bash my head against things and hold switchblade knives against my throat. He would belittle me and make me feel like I should be thankful for his love. Then I met my husband, who from the moment we met, we knew we were soul mates. It took him a long time to get me to not pick fights with him and to get me to lay off the alcohol (which I became alcoholic from trying to numb the pain during my time with my ex). We had almost 30 amazing years, together, blessed with two beautiful sons, before God called him home. It will be three long, torturous years next week since his death. I know that he knew he would be dying soon – at least a year before his death. He discussed with me about his expectations after he passed away, from the fact he wanted to be cremated to his wish for me to find someone until we could be together again. I was in complete denial. I will forever be thankful for being with him the morning that he was taken from me. He had a massive heart attack while driving (he was a courier) and I was in the car with him when it happened. I am dreading next week because it does not get easier with the passing of time, you just learn to adjust. Crocheting is what has helped me through my darkest hours, which have been more than anyone could ever know, that continues still. God bless you and Dan for being there for each other, as you two were meant to be together obviously! People are drawn together for a reason, destiny. You two are so very special and never let anyone take that from you or make you think any less than that!!!! I love Crochet Crowd and I love and appreciate your very touching stories! Crocheting is great therapy, as is connecting with fellow crochet people! Much love to you and Dan! <3

  • August 27, 2015 at 10:01 pm
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    thank you both for sharing your life. my heart goes out to the both of you and i am happy for the both of you’s that you’s found each other. with all that the both of you have been through and you both still have hearts of gold to do so much for so many. i haven’t been with the crochet crowd for long but i am seeing two very sweet people that have had some crappy life and yet still hold no grudge to life. i hope God watches over you both and keeps you’s safe. Hugs to the both of you..

  • August 27, 2015 at 9:51 pm
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    I imagine that writing all that down and feeling everything that you felt as you wrote it, was very freeing for you. You bared a part of your soul to friends and I think you are very brave for doing that. We all have hurt and pain inside of us and you confronting and sharing your feelings is probably therapeutic for you. There’s nothing wrong with sharing a part of yourself with friends! I love your videos and you allowing us a glimpse inside your world.

  • August 27, 2015 at 9:49 pm
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    Thank you for sharing, both of you.

  • August 27, 2015 at 9:30 pm
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    There are plenty of other crochet groups out there with patterns, tips, and advice. The Crochet Crowd is different because you share your lives. I love the friendly, personal, supportive feel of The Crochet Crowd. I understand that may not be for everyone but I love it and I think you and Diva Dan are wonderful. You are so lucky to have each other. Thank you for sharing your stories with us.

  • August 27, 2015 at 9:30 pm
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    I applaud your honesty and your ability to share your innermost, personal feelings with the world! Thank you for letting us know these things–we all have some kind of burden to bear (or bare! in this case) and talking about problems makes them lighter to carry. I will wish you God’s Blessing on your lives together, and continue to enjoy your tutorials and your “chats”. May all your future problems concern only knots in your yarn, not in your lives!!

  • August 27, 2015 at 9:24 pm
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    Truly touching. Sharing your experiences, thoughts, and attitudes towards life has an impact in the lives of some of us. It’s nice to know that others struggle, sometimes daily, yet continue to move forward and live. Thanks for sharing your lives with us.

  • August 27, 2015 at 9:22 pm
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    I read and liked the article, here’s why: it makes you more human to me. It makes you seem more a friend, and a teacher; not a blogger, or someone just doing their job. It makes me feel as though you and Dan are invested in us as people too. It also makes me feel more normal, because…. like Dan, I could not change or help my mother either. And like mikey, I have been deeply wounded. Thank you both for being real.

  • August 27, 2015 at 9:16 pm
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    You cannot please everyone. Don’t even try. The haters gonna hate …. Keep on doing what you are doing and doing well. You have created a great community. I, for one, as a newbie crocheter, love this. I have learned so much from you and the CROWD. xo
    Barb

  • August 27, 2015 at 9:12 pm
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    Thanks for sharing. Living alone in my waning years, it feels good to belong to a group like the Crochet Crowd and you and Dan. Friendship, compassion and crocheting, who could ask for more?

  • August 27, 2015 at 9:09 pm
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    I think it was a wonderful article … it was also very brave of you guys to put it out there for us all to read. To me, it makes you more “real” if that makes sense. The crochet crowd is a wonderful community full of people with real lives that matter, and not just crochet. I am lucky to be a part of it 🙂

  • August 27, 2015 at 9:03 pm
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    (((Hugs))) to you and Diva Dan!!!! Thank you for sharing not only you’re unbelievably talents but a glimpse into who you both are as individuals as well. Sometimes as human beings its nice to know that we are not alone, but that everyone has those “skeletons” in their closets, so to speak!!!! Again, (((HUGS))) to you both!

  • August 27, 2015 at 9:01 pm
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    Thanks for sharing thoughts and feelings behind those 2 people so creative. Thanks for the life lesson. They can be happy after having gone through the storm. Hugs.

  • August 27, 2015 at 8:59 pm
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    Awe, thanks so much for sharing that, and for everything you do for the crochet crowd. You and Daniel have made my day more than once.

  • August 27, 2015 at 8:58 pm
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    My heart goes out to both of you. Just love one another and keep supporting each other. Love heals all. BTW, I loved the article.

  • August 27, 2015 at 8:58 pm
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    Wow! Your stories really touched my heart. I am SO glad you and Daniel have each other now…I hope you both found some healing and relief at confronting your past lives…those past lives can be so crippling (How well I know!!). I think it was bold and brave of you and Daniel sharing your stories…who know who they might help today!! I would so love to meet you and Daniel and give you both big ole hugs!!! I am such a fan of the Crochet Crowd, and of course, you Mikey!! May GOD richly bless you two fine gentlemen!!

  • August 27, 2015 at 8:57 pm
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    Thank you for sharing. We all have our problems and need to sometimes talk about it with our friends. Yes, I do consider you and Daniel my friends. I hope telling us your stories has helped you both’

  • August 27, 2015 at 8:55 pm
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    You have so much courage to confront the past AND to tell us about it. I agree that we are more than yarns and patterns. We are people in a messed up world, but we are all in this together! Hats off to you!

  • August 27, 2015 at 8:52 pm
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    Two beautifully courageous men, and even braver to share with us. It’s a privilege to have been allowed into these sacred aspects of your lives. Thank you for trusting us with this. xx

  • August 27, 2015 at 8:52 pm
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    I feel like each passing week I get to know you and Daniel a little bit more. I am so thankful I found you a year ago and all the things I have learned and how my skills have improved. I always go to the crochet crowd every time I am thinking of a new project. I am in love with your tutorials.
    I also love that you let us see the human side to you. It’s touching, I can relate, and feels familiar. Don’t change a thing!
    Barb

  • August 27, 2015 at 8:52 pm
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    I just wanted to hug you both! Thank you for sharing a bit of your lives with us.

  • August 27, 2015 at 8:50 pm
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    Awe, I love you guys.. sad story, but so true for us all in some way or another.. You gay guys are great.. love ya both…

  • August 27, 2015 at 8:38 pm
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    Thank you for sharing such personal and emotional feelings with your Crochet Family. I think we all have past hurts and people who could have destroyed us if we were not made tough! And isn’t it strange that if you get to talk it out, as with everything, it becomes easier to live with and to move on. But if we don’t get that opportunity it can live inside us forever. I am so happy that both you and Daniel found each other and that your relationship is a loving and caring one, and hopefully a forever one. You both deserve happiness and love. I am proud to call you both my friends. <3

  • August 27, 2015 at 8:32 pm
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    No I did not like this article. I do not need nor want to know about Mikey and Dan’s personal feelings or past history or relationship. I have one of my own. This is not Dear Abby. I do want to read about crochet, yarns, challenges, patterns, tips and advice on crochet. No more, no less.

    • Mikey, The Crochet Crowd
      August 27, 2015 at 8:37 pm
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      sorry you disapprove. We are The Crochet Crowd… a community of people. We are more than just yarn, patterns and tutorials. We are all real people. Crochet is what brings us together. There’s strength in knowing we are not alone in our struggles.

      • August 27, 2015 at 10:41 pm
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        You hit the nail on the head Mikey. Thank you for sharing a piece of your personal life, this is a community, more than just yarn, patterns, and tutorials. I love how scrolling through the feed on FB everyone posts little things in their daily life too, that sometimes isn’t related to crafty stuff, which is fine! 🙂 You, Dan, and everyone behind the scenes are amazing. Your transparency is really touching, you guys don’t pretend to be perfect, its a beautiful humbling thing, and we all have pasts, it’s wonderful to know we aren’t alone 🙂 Thanks for everything <3

      • August 28, 2015 at 2:40 am
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        It’s impossible to please everyone and so I would’nt try. People fall into 2 main sets, they are either ‘drains,’ or ‘radiators’ and the most we can do is try to surround ourselves with ‘radiators’ and keep away from the ‘drains’. Being with a ‘drain’ can ruin one’s day/week/or longer but a radiator really cheers one up and brightens the days. I spend too much time on fb and not enough trying to do more than granny squares. I was useless at maths and find knitting patterns difficult and almost impossible unless I make the whole pattern larger and use up lots of highlighter pens. Sleeves are a complete pain unless I write every row down and even then… and crochet patterns are tricky too. I see that if I could concentrate then your charts are a much better way to go. They do tend to make me panic tho’. I know or hope you won’t alter what you post and neither should you. One of your [you and Diva Dan’s] functions is to brighten our days esp during the dull dark days of winter for us seasonal affective disorder sufferers [SAD] and you do. I only have to remember the ‘Big Balls’ and Mikey’s cart antics to have a quiet chuckle. Where you are living looks lovely even if you get so many winter months. It usually looks bright because of the sun on the snow and you are not huddled under a Canada shaped cloud making everything gray. It does look different did you move house? Like Diva Dan I am passionately interested in gardening tho’ my other half who isn’t into actually doing any gardening says I seem to prefer reading about it rather than doing it which is not entirely true. There ‘s an awful lot of misery around and what you two do is a huge helpin counteracting that so please keep doing what you do.

    • August 27, 2015 at 8:42 pm
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      If you don’t care personally about the people who do so much work to make this website that you’re posting on, then don’t read it. No one is forcing you to read every single article here.

    • August 27, 2015 at 8:56 pm
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      I enjoy The Crochet Crowd. I also did not like this article. I am happy that you found ‘love’ but to really go in depth about Dan’s mom was going way too far. I will continue to be a member of the group but I will not read any more of these articles about ‘personal feelings’

      • August 28, 2015 at 10:27 am
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        Then do not read the posts but you have no right to comment on what you feel has gone too far!!! I am sure that Mikey had Diva Dan permission to post what he did.

    • August 27, 2015 at 11:44 pm
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      marlene.
      whilst we are all entitled to our views.,If this style of imparting information isnt to your taste there is always the unsubscribe button.
      There is more to life than hook and yarn. I belong to a craft group and we always share when we create and no topic is off subject and bounderies are respected.Time flys and a quick meet turns into a good long session of a few hours. For Dan and Mikey to impart there story is fine by me and should be applauded.it broadens horizons and give others permission(subconciously) to seek answers to their own history. Dan,Mikey keep opn doing what you do I love it all.
      Rachel Plymouth U.K

    • August 28, 2015 at 1:39 am
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      You Both are the GREATEST!!! Thank you for being human and sharing yourselves! Keep loving each other with all your hearts and souls. Because WE ALL do. We love you both totally. Hugs to you both. Enjoy Life together!!!! Stay real and keep on sharing whatever you want we will always be here for you both and have your backs. Love you guys!!!!!

    • August 28, 2015 at 10:24 am
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      There are many other pages that you can get Patterns from. Major of the people love hearing the stories that Mikey and Diva Dan Share WITH us. If you do not, the n kindly and quietly Move Along

  • August 27, 2015 at 8:20 pm
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    *hugs* Thanks for sharing. I hope one day you, Dan, my husband Tom, and I can share a cup of tea or a glass of wine with you gentlemen. I know we will be fast friends.

    • August 27, 2015 at 8:21 pm
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      Gosh, I really should have proof read that. Hope you can understand it.

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