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    Home » Crochet Clothing Patterns » Crochet Cowl Patterns

    Crochet F#CK THIS SH#T Cowl Pattern + Tutorial

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    My partner, Daniel, requested a cowl that had an adult saying on it that he uses a lot. Of course, he never asks me to make him anything, and so it became a fun challenge for me. Of course, though I know his saying, I couldn't bring myself to spell it out on a real crochet cowl to wear, but I have provided two options in the downloadable if you have more courage than we do. This is the F#CK THIS SH#T Cowl pattern.

    Depending on how you wear it, the four-letter words can be hidden from view, making it a private joke between family or friends. Of course, you can turn it any way you wish, depending on how ratchet you feel.

    Mikey wearing adult crochet cowl pattern
    F This Cowl by Mikey Crochet Pattern

    This pattern can be crocheted up in about two hours using #6 weight yarn. Snug as a hug and super soft.

    Crochet Cowl Worn by Michael Sellick
    Crochet F This Cowl Pattern by Mikey Worn Outside

    IF OFFENDED, DON'T SCROLL DOWN

    In This Article
    • IF OFFENDED, DON'T SCROLL DOWN
    • Details
    • Abbreviations
    • Border
    • Tutorial
    • GET PATTERN
    Man wearing Crochet Cowl with Adult Saying
    Crochet F Cowl Pattern by Mikey
    Crochet Cowl spelling THIS on the front of it.
    Crochet F This Sh Pattern by Mikey
    Crochet Fair Isle Chart
    Crochet Chart for FCK THIS SHT Cowl Pattern

    Details

    Create a very fast cowl. With the #6 Weight yarn, it works up in about 2 hours and makes for an excellent gift for yourself or a gag gift. Possibly a while elephant party gift too. 

    Bernat Super Fluffee. 280 g / 9.8 oz, 163 metres / 178 yards.

    • A - Cloudy, 1 ball. 71 yards / 4 oz
    • B - Pine, 1 ball. 85 yards / 4.7 oz.

    Hook: 8 mm / L/11 

    Gauge: 9 waistcoat stitch and 11 rows = 4” [10 cm]Size: 22” circumference by 8.5” wide.

    Abbreviations

    • Beg = Begin(ning) 
    • Ch(s) = Chain(s)
    • RS = Right Side 
    • Sl st = Slip Stitch
    • Sp(s) = Space(es
    • Splsc = Split single crochet: work sc between ‘legs’ at front and back of stitch (splitting stitch) instead of through top loops. Aka Waistcoat Stitch 
    • St(s) = Stitch(es)
    • Yoh = Yarn Over Hook

    Instructions

    If you are unsure what Split Single Crochet / Crochet Waistcoat Stitch is, see the tutorial below.

    With A, ch 56. Careful not to twist the chain. Sl st to beg ch to form ring. 

    1st rnd: RS. Do not chain. 1 sc in each stitch around. Do not join. 56 sc.

    TIP: You will now continue in a continuous round, meaning you are not joining at the end of each round. However, you will want to keep an eye on the end of each round. Use a stitch marker on the last stitch and keep moving it up each time you go around. 

    It’s easier to follow this concept as a graph. While it appears to lack structure, it’s thoroughly planned from start to finish. 

    Carrying the Unused Colour

    You will carry the yarn on the underside of the stitches. The split single crochet favours the front of the project, and the carried yarn stays under the stitches on the back side.

    Remember: when changing colour and you need the next stitch to be a solid colour, the final pull-through of the last stitch must be the new colour. 

    To change colour, work to the last two loops on the hook and draw the new colour through the last two loops, then proceed in the new colour.

    Fair Isle Chart

    Read the chart from right to left. There are 56 across with no repeats. The chart is included in the download to follow along.  

    Since this is a continuous round with no slip stitching, keep an eye on the colour of the last stitch in the round versus the first colour of the next round. They may be the same colour as the one finishing the previous round.

    Border

    1st rnd: RS. With B, join with sl st to beg st. 1 splsc in each st around. Do not join. 

    2nd rnd: 1 splsc in each st around. 

    Sl st in next 2 sts and fasten off. 

    Repeat border for the other side.

    Man wearing Crochet Cowl with Adult Saying
    Crochet F Cowl Pattern by Mikey

    Tutorial

    The tutorial uses this pattern.

    Crochet Fair Isle Wool Cowl Pattern + Tutorial

    Use the tutorial to learn to read the chart, with changes in yarns and more. We have several Fair Isle concepts here on our website.

    GET PATTERN

    DOWNLOAD
    Crochet F Cowl by Mikey
    Crochet F This Cowl Stitch Pattern
    Crochet Cowl spelling THIS on the front of it.
    Crochet F This Sh Pattern by Mikey
    Crochet Cowl spelling Sh#t on front.
    Crochet Sh Cowl Pattern

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    Related

    More Crochet Cowl Patterns

    • 3 Matching Winter Set Crochet Patterns by Mikey
    • Crochet COLD AS F#CK Cowl Pattern + Tutorial
    • Crochet Naughty List Fair Isle Cowl Pattern + Tutorial
    • Crochet Nordic Trees Fair Isle Cowl Pattern + Tutorial

    Filed Under: Bernat Fluffee Yarn Patterns, Crochet Accessories Tutorials, Crochet Cowl Patterns, Fair Isle Crochet and Knit Patterns, Mikey's Crochet Cowl Patterns

    Comments

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    1. Kristi says

      December 27, 2025 at 5:48 pm

      Mikey, HELP

      I failed to connect my chain on the F This Sh#t cowl. I don't want to frog, in fear of it getting caught up with a knot. Can I just continue as a chain and slip stitch together when done? Also, if yes, do I turn my work and chain one

      Reply
      • Mikey says

        December 28, 2025 at 2:42 pm

        The waist coat stitch only works in a revolution. You cannot go back and forth with that stitch. If you have missed connecting the chain on the first time but are going in a circle now. You can sew the first round together instead of frogging it.

        Reply
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