Is Michael Sellick, aka Mikey, Gay?

The quick answer is yes, but there are limits, which I will discuss below. Daniel and I have been together since 2009 and built a life together. We brought each other out of the ruins of our lives at that moment and formed a bond to hold onto and share a life with each other.

I came out of the closet in 2000 but knew from childhood that something was 'off' with me. I followed through with trying to do what was expected of me. The coming out process was painful and went sideways and required professional counselling to navigate.

I didn't have the courage to break free, and this was a pre-internet era, and I had no one to talk to about what was going on with me. The social damage I created in coming gout of the closet may have been avoided if I would have had someone to talk to instead of dragging good people through my turmoil of trying to figure things out.

Where Are The Mentors?

Coming out of the closet in 2000, I looked around me can kept saying, "Now what do I do!?" I didn't know how to act, behave to discover this side of life. I've always said that our world is missing role models trying to navigate life. Most of us, when I came out of the closet, were in emotional distress due to families breaking apart, co-workers having issues and so much more.

In asking the question, I visited my doctor to get psychological help to figure out my path. The most significant piece of advice I received, which worked out for me, is simple.

"You have the power to say no and will not accept people into your life who will only accept a part of you. You can break free, walk away and put up a wall to protect yourself." From that moment, I re-evaluated my life and pushed away people in my life that were causing me to have mental issues. Instead of confront people, I walked away and started a new life.

When I was ready to go back into people's lives, I realized everyone I once knew was a stranger as I had gone too long, and everyone, including myself, had moved on.

I attended Pride events early but haven't been to anything in years. We have just started attending more events in our community lately as an evening out. We are not here to change people's minds about who we are. We are trying to survive to the end with as little emotional damage as possible.

More About Daniel and I

Daniel and I met a year after I had started teaching on YouTube. He was fascinated by the process, and it was just a fun little hobby. He encouraged me to keep on teaching and share what I know. Daniel's background in community development showed me how to build a community and be inclusive. Daniel's guidance and my patience in dealing with strangers came through the darker moments.

Personality Traits

I am passive-aggressive, but it takes a great deal of pressure before I break into a full-on meltdown that requires intervention. In person, I am very introverted when I am not in my zone of Mikey from The Crochet Crowd. I let very few people through my guarded wall to protect myself.

Daniel can be highly social but has no issues with biting back when confronted. Sometimes, I envy that, as I can be walked all over before I break apart. He calls it out as it's happening.

I'm more housebound with crafting and computer tech work, while Daniel prefers to be outside with his hands in some kind of mud or holding plants or doing something hands-on. Daniel wants his work to be tangible, not digital. I'm in between the tangible and digital.

We have 4 pets, which include two dogs called PuppiDawd and Salti. They are both Great Pyrneese mix dogs. We also have two cats from the SPCA called Puss Puss and Binky Boo.

Where's Our Kids

Daniel and I are 50 years old. Daniel never had kids and has never been with a woman in those terms, even though it is a possibility. It's just him and I navigating through life.

I was married and couldn't conceive children due to medical complications. While some geniuses that are spammy claim I have children or have not paid child support, I didn't have children.

Limits

Out of respect for others, Daniel and I have a barrier between us as a general rule that we don't touch each other in public. We tend to dress alike in casual clothing as being all pretty isn't priority. It's why, in tutorials, my hair isn't gelled, nor do we wear makeup. We are who we are. I would describe Daniel and I as country gays. We are not prioritizing our lives to be 'stage ready'.

Most Significant Complication in 2020's

The 2SLGBT+IA communities are usually the target of political actions and are grouped in the same sector. A lot of hate and misinformation about our community can be a real traumatizing experience.

If you have ever noticed, I don't do children's programming or workshops. I am terrified of children. That's why in the About section of our YouTube, it says the following:

The videos are hosted by Mikey, Michael Sellick (he/him). Michael is Canadian and broadcasts from Nova Scotia in the Atlantic Time Zone. All lessons and patterns used are in North American (USA) terms. This channel is intended for an open-minded adult audience, as some content has innuendo and adult-based humour.

I think other cultures, countries and much more are also going through issues that politics can heighten.

What's Mikey's Pieces of Advice

People ask me from time to time about advice for success and human survival. Some of my advice will not be something you may want to read about, but are things I believe in:

1. Do not have children. I came to the conclusion when I was 17 that I was never going to have kids. I have bypassed the parental struggles of raising children, financial crises and dealing with other parents about children. On average, today's child will cost $330,000 CDN to raise one child from conception to eighteen. Children of today cannot move out like they used to, and the pathway is unclear that today's children will be able to survive financially on their own. Let other people have kids, and enjoy your life journey. You have a lot to see. Your friendships and possibly family will be your guiding light. You are indeed never alone unless you want to be.
2. Be open-minded and understand that you may not truly comprehend all lifestyles, cultures and more. If you are part of my community, you are also a minority, so to have hatred for other cultures while you wish you were treated as an equal is an oxymoron. Invest time in understanding. Don't confuse selfishness, dialogue tone or another person's lack of vocabulary to hate on them.
3. Don't leave the hidden closet of coming out until you are ready to lose everything you know. If you are out early and unprepared, please seek counselling and don't be afraid to use the crisis hotlines. I did that for myself. There's no shame in asking for help.
4. Live authentically. The people you see in social media are not all that. Some are showing you a life they wished they lived and are not being truthful. Use people who you trust as mentors to be the person you want to be.
5. If you are going to cheat on your spouse, be prepared for the consequences of it. You are not a victim, you are the creator of what is to come of it.
6. If you see an opportunity to make a difference... do it. Don't sit at home wishing for change. Be the change you want to see. However, if the issue you will face will cause personal harm or threats against your life, use your best judgement and listen to your gut.
7. Not everything needs to hit social media. You are allowed to keep parts of your life private, while people may be nosey to know what you are up to. A fight between a spouse or family member is best handled privately. There are some things in my life that never hit social media, as there's no good or purpose for it. Social media lives forever.
8. No one owes you anything. You are the creator of your life. If something is missing, do something about it. Make a vision board, list goals, or start a gratitude journal. I have done all three for myself. My projection for The Crochet Crowd is based on goal setting. I will not always succeed, but use it to track your journey.
9. Not everyone in your life has your best interest at heart. Many people, maybe even you, have selfish tendencies. Cut the people out of your life who don't bring you joy, happiness, or success.
10. If things aren't working out, consider a major life overhaul. Change is sometimes necessary, including moving, getting a new job, and starting life again. Never be afraid to purge.
11. Things you own are possessions; they don't define you, and you are accessories to your life. Never be afraid to let go of anything by donating or tossing items away out of your life.

In the end, try to find your happiness. Happiness is different for everyone. Everyone has a unique journey with many life lessons that overlap with each other. Celebrate the small things as when the bigger things come along, you have a great reason to have gratitude.

Your life goes and dreamlists will change in time. Don't have the fear to let go of dreams that are beyond what you can do and make other dreams that are reachable.

Don't try to be like Daniel and I, we are unique in ourselves. Your uniqueness is important and what sets you apart from the rest of us. Embrace your uniqueness.

Summary

Name

Michael Sellick

Nickname

(Mikey)

Website

https://thecrochetcrowd.com

Job Title

Crochet Youtube Instructor

Company

The Crochet Crowd