I have just returned from my yearly break. I was counting down the days, unlike any other year. My trip was almost cancelled a few days before I left due to circumstances beyond my control. I realized that if I don’t break and get out of the house, I will not be able to reset myself emotionally to put another year in the books.
For those who follow my personal Facebook, you get a glimpse that I was broken. I relate best to music. Marc Philippe – Pull Up is best to describe where I was. I wasn’t unable to pull up and crash.
I needed my closest friends to hear me; they were on holiday with me. Some of them are self-employed like me. They understand where someone like me is coming from. You cannot just turn it off and always be on high alert.
The Mirror
One of my friends said he wanted to show me something, so I decided to share with him my plans that I have already scheduled for The Crochet Crowd to see his thoughts. During the talk, his wife joined me to listen to my concerns about how I felt broken and that I didn’t know how to pull up. Both of them were self-employed and were in my shoes 10 years earlier.
- My relationship is nearly broken.
- I am triggered and dragged into debates that have nothing to do with me.
- I am bending to what people want.
- I’m lost in a direction as I don’t know how to navigate my hole.
He asked two simple questions
What does Michael Sellick feel like 10 years from now?
I told him I didn’t know as I didn’t know how to put 10 more years into the current state of affairs.
He followed up with, okay, you cannot see 10 years. How about next year when you break again? How will it be different?
I told him it wouldn’t be different unless I made changes. He asked me what was stopping me from making the changes. I told him:
- My authenticity was being shielded by fear of disappointing others.
- Feeling bad about the lack of content of what people wanted when they complained, I missed the mark.
- People inject their issues into me, making me responsible for things I don’t have any part in.
- Being a target of hatred because of my lifestyle.
I told him that people say to ignore the comments and emails that come in targeting me. A person can only handle so much. I sometimes dare to push a content type out but then start to regret it when people are disappointed in me. People can only push off so much before their self-worth and contribution to society are broken. That’s where I am.
What Do You Need to be Changed to Find Joy?
I told him exactly where I was struggling. He reminded me that I know what is broken, which is the first step to change. He says the next step is to change that element.
Daniel and I were struggling on this trip between us. It’s me. I am emotionally checked out. Daniel was silent with me for a couple of days, and we finally had ‘the chat. It’s a change or the end. It’s that raw.
I am self-employed, and there is a lot of responsibility to ensure the well-being of our lives at home. To keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. My business has overtaken our relationship for years. I don’t value Daniel as much as the business. I struggle to find acceptance within a community of people who don’t know me like Daniel and rely on it to sustain me… when, in fact, my support is right here at home with Daniel. This has to change immediately.
I’ve lost my way. It also came down to deciding what is broken and where we are in a year and beyond. Do we leave the island as singles, or do I fix what is broken? I’ve let my business and people online as being priority #1 instead of making it secondary.
By lunchtime, I have had disagreements with people, not sharing a rebuttal but bottling up.
- A perpetual apology to those who expect more of me but share that I have let them down.
- By supper time, I am a bird without feathers that have plugged myself and feeling vulnerable.
- I am quiet, not sharing and feeling closed within myself.
I feel like a failure as I cannot navigate the problems I have shut down. I am eating myself into the ground through emotional eating and emotionally beating myself up.
Daniel and I devised a plan to pull up and fix what was broken. The conversation was tough but long overdue.
Most Straight People Will Never Experience This
When I was closeted as a gay man. Posing as a straight person. I was living two lives. What people see and what I feel inside. I told my fiance in 1994 that I thought I might be gay. She cried and cried hard. I felt so bad about it. I continued the course of getting married and staying in a relationship. I have been with my wife since 1991. It wasn’t her fault I couldn’t bring myself. It was the fear of letting her down. It was cruel and is the biggest regret of my life for not being authentic. I felt I could maybe convince myself to live a straight life. It was a failure.
For the last three years of our relationship, I was emotionally busy trying to figure out how to live as a straight man to hit the expectations of the family and people around me at work. It was messed up, and I am to blame for allowing this to get so far.
My wife and I legally separated when I was twenty-six years old. We had invested eight years together. I finally admitted to my wife in the last year of our marriage that I am gay. With that, the hold of the secret was lifted from my being. I was free and able to talk about it openly. Was she happy about it? Hell no! For a person to try to figure out authentic versus manufactured answers is rough. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
Our separation was an instant decision to release each other. We booked an appointment with a lawyer and joked at the office before signing that we were letting each other go. The woman in the waiting room with us was crying as her man surprised her with a separation. Meanwhile, we were happy to set each other free finally. We never had children, so the split was just paperwork to declare we were no longer together. It was the best money we spent to release each other.
The way I would describe it today is different through retrospect.
Not Being Authentic
I’m living inside a balloon, breathing the same oxygen. As time progresses, the oxygen gets less, and you realize you need to break out of the bubble to get fresh oxygen to keep going. Some people can keep the facade on for their entire lives, while others wait until they are nearly suffocating before facing the reality that they are not the same as society expects.
It shocks me that kids can come to terms with their lives early. Me, I knew I was different from my earliest memories. That takes courage but is also one of the reasons why young gay men are more prone to suicide, as the societal pressure is enormous. Bullying and the whole gambit of social pressures.
I’ve put myself back into a balloon through social pressure to depict someone I am not.
You Can Still Be Authentic But Being Selective
In the first 6 months of being on YouTube back in 2008. I never addressed my homosexuality as I was already out of the closet and living in a male/male relationship. I knew that being openly gay, then and to this day, would be a hot point of contention.
My adjectives of expression and mannerisms for face-on-camera work were undeniable. I eventually ripped off the band-aid and openly admitted it. The bashing was already in motion for people suspecting I was, but once I openly admitted it, it was a free-for-all to hit me, the host, with as much hate as a person can muster up to spew.
I remember answering a person back in 2008, saying I was sorry I had let her down. She apologized and didn’t think I would read her comment. Then why in the fuck post that then? It’s intentional, and she is being called out. Meanwhile, for others, if I respond, there is no turning back, no apology, and then I will stand behind their comment. Sometimes, sofa quarterbacks love to share an opinion without thinking about how it affects another human.
Moving Forward to 2023
I want to bring back my authentic self. I’ve been lost trying to appease people. I’ve pushed myself back into the closet in fear of letting down others. This has to end. My relationship is a mess. My mental self is a wreck. I’m allowing people’s comments to dictate my life.
Midway through 2022, through mentorship from YouTube and a contractor I hired, today’s viewer wants short-form content differently. This type of content is more revealing for hosts to share their points of view, personalities and sly hand humour.
I know myself. If a doorway opens for an off-handed remark or wide open for a touch of sarcasm, I will walk through it. If you follow me, you know it.
Being Relatable
A woman on our crochet cruises came from New York. I asked her why she came on the cruise. “I’m here for the raunch!” She was on the right cruise. I will serve that naturally. I’m a storyteller and can add adjectives and reactions to share the story. The short form reveals that.
What makes a great joke or punch line is the sense of being relatable. You realize the storyteller is reflecting on a moment we may think about internally but voice it out loud. With our friends and can laugh about it.
The shorts reveal my lifestyle. They reveal my mannerisms, and to some, it’s a turn-off because they have a vision of what my life should be. That should never be placed on another human, especially someone they have never met. Some people tell me to stick with crochet but leave my personal life at the door. Most YouTube hosts share about their lives and shouldn’t be restricted. It’s not a TV Show where the host is just reading a script. It’s more personal. I don’t think I should have that restriction, which shouldn’t be expected.
Many people want me to express religious points of view or act within a religious restriction. Some people say to do it but don’t practice what they preach but expect it from others. That’s unfair. I often say to Daniel. How are people watching TV in today’s era, surfing online and much more without running into off-beat humour, language, innuendo and much more? To expect to stay safe when most of the media isn’t doing that isn’t valid today. When you look at the Golden Girls, it addresses homosexuality, and at that time, it was taboo to discuss on Prime Time TV Sitcoms. Times have changed.
Social entertainment and storytelling have greatly changed.
A community member recently told me, “You’re making it okay to be gay by depicting your life as living a normal life with another man!” We are well beyond that moment in today’s era.
Finally
By looking at what can be fixed. There was music playing in the background on our holiday. This song was on the boom box. David Guetta & Bebe Rexha.
A new direction is upon me, mustering the power within to push forward. I feel more free knowing I can fix what is wrong versus pretending there isn’t a problem. I cannot split my personality any further without more emotional and mental damage to myself and the people in my immediate circle.
Do not play the song below if you are sensitive to language.
Dear Mikey, I am a retired nurse. I learned early in my career that I couldn’t take work home with me, it wasn’t fair to my family. I would walk to my car hashing out all the things I had seen and heard and been hurt by. Then when I opened the car door I would say (like Scarlett O’Hara in GONE WITH THE WIND), “Fiddle dee dee, I’ll think about that tomorrow. I had to learn to leave it there. I didn’t work at home, so that is an added part of your problem, but somewhere on the stair, or before opening a door, you may deliberately leave work there.
Your relationship is none of our business, your “love life” is none of our business. Any one who comments on either of those matters should be blocked from your equipment……. it ain’t their business and you should never answer or explain to them. You will not lose followers or watchers or FANS by not responding to these sad people who don’t have lives of their own and must insert themselves into the business of other people.
Just remember every day that no matter how many fans you have, Daniel is the number one fan, and needs to be treated accordingly. I have followed you since 2013 and have always appreciated your talent, and creativity(and left-handed videos).
Mikey,
Don’t ever think that you need to please everyone, because there are some people that will never understand all the work you put into your craft. There are those of us that will appreciate your hard work, and others that won’t.
Know this – You are enough!!
You are a wonderful person and give of yourself everything you can, to teach the world about what you Love. Never forget that you are seen for the wonderful person you are!
As I read through the comments I know that it is so easy for people to say to just ignore the bad but I think you have a brain like mine and 1 bad comment or criticism can ruin an otherwise wonderful day. I struggled with this but I finally realized that at the end of the day I owed nothing to anyone except myself and my family and neither do you. I hope your journey back is successful and that you and Daniel move forward stronger than ever. Take care of each other
You know, while reading this I have been thinking – I watch, read, listen and follow you because you reach out as someone welcoming me into your world and letting me spend time with you. It is my choice to do this – I do it because I enjoy it. I do not feel entitled to have access to you, your life and talent. Quite the opposite – I feel that I am “coming into your home” and in doing so I have no right to tell you how to live in your house. If people don’t like what you offer from “your house”, the need to keep their mouths shut, mind their own business and move on somewhere else. Thank you for welcoming me to your home and I thouroughly enjoy my time.
I will follow and appreciate all that you do including your YouTube channel. You are a wonderful resource. I love knitting and crochet.
I have been so worried about you as I’ve watched this past year or so. I know it is hard to ignore the hurtful comments, and it is far too easy to slip into trying to please everyone else.
But I really believe that most of your followers are grateful for what you choose to do and are fully capable of ignoring what we don’t care about, whether that be the knitting (which I LOVE) or projects we don’t particularly like.
You do you, Mikey. And (easier said than done) just realize you aren’t able to make everyone happy. Nobody can. It’s okay.
I’m happy you are taking care of you. It took me a lifetime to learn that. Finally, at 67, I am finding happiness in my life. The reasons for my struggles have been different from yours but they still sucked the life out of me. Once you take care of you, you can take care of Daniel. Hang in there. It will get better. Thank you for the videos. I have learned so much.
Mikey! Please do you! I’ve had fiber in my hands since I was 4 and am about to turn 63 and you still manage to teach me a LOT! and not just about fiber but about love and life and laughter. Thank you! Take care of you, take care of Daniel and your life together… the rest will sort itself out. And if you ever need help bashing those trolls, I’d be honored to help! Love you!
It breaks my heart to read this! People can be so cruel! You have always put good out there in the universe. I made a comment on Facebook on one of your postings that I was worried about you both. I sensed something! Stay true to yourself, do what brings joy to your heart and life, your top priority is you and Daniel. Take the time to reestablish those deep bonds. Your passion for crochet and knitting is inspiring to so many. I admire your courage of character to face and acknowledge the “broken parts” in one’s life, and the strength to fix them not to mention putting it out there to publicly describe what’s happening. I love you both and can’t begin to thank you. For what you have done for me in the art of crocheting and in life. ❤️🤗🙏
I’m so sorry that so many people have been rude and or cruel. The entitlement and demanding of people in today’s world saddens me. Of course you can’t ignore everything, no one can. I’m sorry you’ve gotten this broken, but I’m glad you know what’s wrong and are trying to fix it. What little I’ve seen of your relationship (because I don’t follow anyone religiously) I’ve tried to mimic in some ways with my husband. Your sense of fun and humor have inspired us. You need to be the best you there is and that’s someone who’s happy and comfortable in their skin and lives. Anyone who doesn’t like who you are and what you share needs to suck it and not follow you anymore. I truly hope that going forward you are able to find a way to be happier and healthier. For what it’s worth, I love your content and style – even when it’s not something I want to do. Big big hugs to you, Daniel, and you’re whole family and friends
Oh Michael, I just want to give you and Daniel a hug🤗🤗
Have someone on your staff take care of your social media comments. There’s no reason for you to see such ugliness. Delete and block was my best friend when I was on social media daily.
I dont see you as a gay man. I see you as Mikey, one of my teachers of crochet. You’re human, just like me. You have feelings, just like me. You bleed, just like me. You hurt, just like me. All I want is for you to have peace and happiness. Please know that you’re appreciated and loved. Take care of yourself❤️
Mikey, you are loved by me and so MANY OTHERS. When you really believe in us, you will throw the garbage away. You are wonderfully creative and a real hoot in your short postings. I appreciate your tenderness and patience in your tutorials. Please just be you and let all of us who love you continue in your community. Finally, do the hard work with Daniel. Relationships are so important in developing ourselves and loving who we are. You are in my prayers.
Mikey to be perfectly honest with you, I left your group years ago. Not because you and Daniel live together because hey I live with a woman but because you let the trolls effect you so much. You get so hurt by these horrible people that are trying to impose their life views onto you. They mean nothing they are not worth one thought but you are so vulnerable to them that I couldn’t watch you beat yourself up anymore. Best wishes going forward and all the best to you and Daniel.
It really pains me that you feel forced into a box. Sure, not everyone here will appreciate your authenticity, but if they don’t? Then let them leave the community and find one that suits their needs better. That means they are not your people. If they post a mean comment, delete it and block them. You don’t owe anyone any explanation of the decisions you choose for YOUR content! The truth is that most of us here would love to see you living life more authentically and would love to see more of your personality. We accept you for who you are. Not only that, we love you for who you are! That’s why I’ve stuck around here for so long. I only crochet once or twice a year, but I’m on this community page a lot. I get inspiration from what I see happening, but most of all, I love following your content. I love seeing you become more comfortable with being yourself. I know you’re sensitive, but I really believe you deserve to live your life without the amount of stress that you allow negative people to put into your life. You and Dan have a beautiful story, and a strong bond, but whatever isn’t working for you has to change. I hope it’s not too late to give yourself permission to be present in your life fully. Your community will still be here. We don’t want to see you work yourself to death or ruin your home life in a quest to make every person here happy. It’s okay to be human. It’s okay to rest. It’s okay to be the real Mikey. I would be happy to speak up to protect you in any interaction of negativity posted that I see. You don’t have to fight every single comment. Just think about it! But most of all remember that there are crappy people in this world, in this group, but there are more loving people who accept you and want to see you thrive!
I’m sorry for your struggles. you are not alone, at least you recognize that there’s a breakdown here and you’re getting some help for it speaking out. We love your authenticity. Step away for a while.. you do you. We will always be here waiting for you
Dear Mikey,
I cannot think of a teacher or friend who has given me more than you have. I do sometimes have to watch maybe 5 minutes of a different video to learn to do something new. I never ever start watching any other. They just are not you. You are very special. Your designs are amazing. When life has been sad or a challenge, I go find some yarn after my chores are done, sit down and turn you on and learn something new. When the others are sleeping there I am with you. The laptop on my lap starting something new. That is when life is good, spending time with you. We all love you so much. Daniel is wonderful. You two be happy and the business will take care of it self. As you are happy the business will prosper. Much love. Elizabeth
I wish I had a magic wand that could filter all the trolls and negative Nancy’s. Please be your authentic self, and make Daniel #1.
Hope your break brought lots of healing!
Mikey, I’m sitting here reading all the comments on your post with tears in my eyes. You have so much love and support from your true online family, please don’t doubt yourself. I’ll leave you with this. No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your permission. Love and positive energy to you and Daniel
I’d like to put a codicil on the statement “….without your permission”. If a person has lived their life in an atmosphere of fear, been shamed for being themselves, lived in ‘the closet of hiding themselves’ then it entirely possible to make a person feel bad without their permission.
Mikey – I am so happy that your break was so productive. I’m glad you had hard conversations and created plans. I’m really excited to see what 2023 brings and seeing more of your personality shine! It’s a freaking amazing personality! I watch your videos and pretend we’re besties having a laugh and crocheting 😂 Yep, I’m a creep like that! But I’ve loved following you all these years and I’m happy that it’s going to continue! All the best to you, Daniel and the fur babies this holiday season!
Mikey, I am so sorry. Please take all the time you need and do whatever it takes to nourish yourself and your relationships. You have shared more croch content than any creator I know. There’s plenty for us to watch if you need a break.
As the mother of an LGBTQIA+ kid, I’ve seen her and several of her friends struggle with their identities, both as they come to realize who they are and as they negotiate how to be themselves in the world. Navigating relationships, especially with family, has been incredibly difficult for them. Some can’t talk about it safely. And you’re right about how different for Gen Z. I’m only a few years older than you, and I have friends who have never been able to completely be themselves. It’s painful to watch someone you love struggle.
Mikey, to so many of us, you are someone we love. I’ve never been on a cruise, but I’ve followed you for a long time. I appreciate you and Daniel for being yourselves as much as you thought you could. I worry every day about my daughter expressing herself authentically. I want her to 100% be herself, but I worry that doing so will single her out for people who want to harm people who don’t fit their need to force everyone to conform to their worldview. People don’t understand what it’s like for LGBTQIA+ folks and POC. I only see it from the outside as a nervous mom.
I am sending lots of love to you and Daniel right now. Do whatever you have to do to be the Michael you want to be 10 years from now. Thank you so much for all the content you have given and all of the love you have sent out. The silent majority want whatever is best for you and Daniel. Please take care. You are so loved.
When I first found this page, I was intimidated by the level of skills I was seeing, yet SO excited to try nonetheless. It had nothing to do with whether you were straight or gay; single or married. I saw a talented person that excelled at teaching because you kept things lively, real and interesting! At 54 years old, I was learning to make beautiful things; learning new stitches! If there were patterns I didn’t care for, I moved on. I didn’t and still don’t feel the need to bash YOU for MY choices. I know the negativity hurts, but you’re an amazing person surrounded by more love and support than you realize. Focus on that. There will ALWAYS be some so-and-so who just wants to bash. If you keep trying to please EVERYONE, you will lose every last bit of YOU there was. Get well, my friend. The fact that you and Daniel are even considering remaining together means the love is still there. Rebuild together….stronger and better! We love and support you and will be here when y’all get back. 💕
Hi Mikey,
I adore your YouTube tutorials and this blog, and appreciate the community you’ve created through The Crochet Crowd for crocheters, knitters and crafters , but want you to know that you don’t owe me or anyone else anything. Good luck to you and Dan.
Michael, I was surprised how much you communicated with your online friends throughout your break. I hoped you would stay away from online activity and just concentrate on relaxing. I truly believe if you needed to stop all the online media for a month, 2 months, 6 months or a year, your followers would be right back with you if and when you wanted to return to teaching us to crochet and knit. Your mental health and your relationships are the most important thing, and I so hope you walk away from all this media hassle and take time to heal and regroup. You have a beautiful home and dogs and ducks and a partner who seems to mean the world to you. Take it easy, my friend. I’ll wait for you…. And I think most of your online friends will wait for you…if you need to be offline for a while! Peace and Love to you….
Your honesty and bravery writing this is refreshing. Know that what decisions you make are the right ones at the right time. I wish you well, Mikey.
Mikey,
You need to do what’s best for you. In the end you have to look back on your life and be able to say that you lived it how you wanted to and not how others wanted you to. You don’t owe anybody a thing when it comes to your life.
Good luck and may you find the peace you seek.
Dave
Mikey and Daniel,
Your relationship is more important than anything else. Do whatever you need to do and screw the nay-sayers. You are both wonderful human beings and deserve happiness. You are exactly who God made you to be. He loves you and so do I. (And I will not look at what others think of my comment. And you shouldn’t either.)
Love you both,
Mikey, I’m so sorry to hear how much you’ve been hurting. Life is full of choices and free will. If someone doesn’t care for your lifestyle, they are free to keep it moving. I can understand how you take on so much and I’m glad you have recognized that changes need to be made. I believe your absolute top priority needs to be yourself, then Daniel, then the dogs, then whatever brings you joy, be it crochet, knitting, whatever! I appreciate you have given me a chance to see your life and I am certain if we met we would be friends. I support whatever decisions you make as far as the crochet crowd. Thank you for being a great teacher! Hugs!
I grew up with a sarcastic brother. His sarcasm hurt badly like it was meant to. It was so bad the first tie we were alone with my brother and his wife, my new husband told him to stop talking like that to me. First time someone stood up for me against my brother. Your sarcasm is so different. It isn’t aimed at one person intentionally. It is true and funny.
I met a boy that saw me crocheting. He came to ask me some questions. We saw each other once a week for several months. He was too young to stay at home alone for hours. You taught him about crocheting and that it was okay for a boy to love it. He had an aunt that encouraged him too. If most people can’t accept people for who they are this world will change for the worst. I prefer people to be their own authentic self, not what the world forces them to be. Your videos help so many people. If people don’t like who you are, they can find other videos. Not better, but other. Religion and sexuality are personal and shouldn’t be forced on others.
It sounds like you and Daniel had the discussion that all long marriages and relationships have. We all change without realizing how it is affecting others. Enjoy your time together. We will be here when you are ready.
Mikey I have enjoyed your irreverant and crazy style for a number of years now. You bring light, calm and comfort to some of my hectic times through your videos and your personal account. Please be aware that we all need to take time for ourselves on a daily basis. That being said please take some time to enjoy Daniel’s love and company outside of work. I know from personal experience that I need to do this with my husband on an on-going basis as well. Just take time for yourself and your home with Daniel.
From a fellow Canadian, thank you for “making it okay to be gay by depicting your life as living a normal life with another man”. You are paving the way for lots of young people out there in the gay community including my son, who isn’t a crocheter, but I often show him your content so he sees people just like him out in the world, being themselves without fear, and doing big things. Yes, this IS and SHOULD BE depicted as normal! The world is changing for the better because of people like you and you are positively affecting more lives than you know.
While it’s hard to hear the hurtful things some people will say (and there will always be someone who does), don’t change for people with hate in their heart, you will never make them happy. Not everyone will like you and that’s ok, the right people will always find you when you are brave enough to truly be yourself.
You’ve got this!
It is taking me a lot of years to learn how not to let people get to me with their comments I’m in my late 50s so I understand your travels at this point not necessarily on the side of being gay however the mental anguish is the same for everybody. When I post something and say Don’t let the people get to you I know it’s hard but I’ve come up with a saying that it’s not my problem. I have learned that people who have nasty things to say are so disgusted with themselves they have nothing better to do than to lash out at everybody else. I happen to enjoy learning from you the patterns you develop I happen to think you’re an awesome person and don’t ever let them get you down you be you.
Mikey being who you are is what brings me back to this channel. You owe nothing to no one and shouldn’t be expected to act in a way that doesn’t reflect who you are. You are kind, loving, funny as hell and so much much more. Take the time you need to get you and your relationship better. We the people who truly care about you aren’t going anywhere
I have many years on you, and there’s a lot I’ve learned along the way. But when it comes to social media, I don’t know how anyone does it as part of a career. I’d never be sale to open myself up for scrutinity or having to always create content.
I went for a day trip to the states yesterday and because one of the purchases I was picking up was yarn, I was asked if I’m on Etsy or otherwise selling my work. I laughed and said I’m too old for that stuff… really meaning I have no interest in making a job out of a passion.
Anyhow, I guess this is a long winded way of saying remember to enjoy your journey, it’s your life and you’re the one who decides how to travel it.
Remember that social media has turned a lot of people into, “it’s all about me” and they travel around sites complaining to anyone that’ll listen, that you’re not doing things THEIR way. Learn to let them go so that life can bring in more people to like and love you.
I really hope we meet one day, just so I can give you a big hug!!!
Mikey – you being you is what makes your videos & website so great. After trying to crochet for a few years and failing, your beginner tutorials were what made it finally click. Your attitude of do what works while teaching instead of strict rules was so welcoming. I wish you the best this year and hope you find some peace in your journey.
Mikey, do what you need to do to find peace, make Daniel a priority if it’s what feels right, and experiment! Try new things, it’s never too late, find stuff that gives you joy and makes you feel energetic. There are SO MANY of us here for you, never forget that <3 We will wait, we will be there to enjoy watching wherever life takes you because you are loved and cherished.
I hope everyone can remember that you owe them nothing. What you put out into the world is a *gift.* The world is lucky to have you. We are all lucky to have one another and people who try to dictate what they get from you are manipulative and selfish. I’m so sorry you have encountered so much abuse. You don’t deserve it. I remember the authentic early videos. You are kind and naturally started to want everyone to be pleased, but I hope YOU are pleased, we are just along for the ride, and whatever you give, we can take it or leave it. You’re the boss of you. <3 Plenty of us will take you up.
I am sending you and Daniel huge hugs!
You do what you need too do for you both. Yes, we love new Mikey videos and patterns, but if you need to slow down and refocus? That’s fine, too.
You guys are the best! Stay sparky, snarky and above all, true too yourselves.
Much 💕
Tammy M. – Mississippi, USA
I cannot tell you how hard I cried after reading this…..somehow you have hit on a truth which I have also tried to neglect and bury. I must tell you how much you and your videos mean to me, how uplifted I am when you become sarcastic, your laugh makes me laugh, your honesty is so refreshing. I am so sorry that many people don’t understand and choose to shoot out negativity in a very anonymous fashion.
My prayer for you is to find inner peace, identify the goal and walk/run towards it, and for you and Daniel to reconnect in an unbreakable bond.
Much Love Mikey, you are cherished by many, respected by me for your honesty, truthfulness and relatability in a world where these attributes are rare to be seen in social media. Peace and Love
Mikey,
I want to express my appreciation for your willingness to be vulnerable with your followers. I will share with you that a long time ago I developed a very serious case of the ‘f’its. I realized that I am not doing anyone any good by not taking care of my own mental well being. I was trying to please everyone else and damaging the most important relationships….the one with myself and my significant other. If I can’t love myself then how is he going to love me? So then the fuckits came to play. I learned I can not and will not please everyone so ‘fuckit.’ If my intent is good and I have done my best then ‘fuckit’. If the house didn’t burn down and the world didn’t end then ‘fuckit’. If I can honestly say that I am being true to myself and to my husband and to my core values…..then fuckit. Life will go on. I will not let others control how I feel about myself. If others do not like what I say or do or what I have to ffer then the the door works both ways. Life is too short my friend.
Be your genuine self. Most of us appreciate you for you, at least I do.
I support you and your decisions 100%.
If people feel the need to critique another person for whatever petty reason that is their issue not yours. You keep doing you however makes you happy. I love your website, the many patterns you share and your and Daniel’s humor. Be safe, be healthy, and stay happy!
Mikey…u r u….screw what other people say.
Easy to say in your public position, but u r u and u r correct inking work work your second priority, again, easy to say…but it will release you a bit and that is your excuse!…you r you….others opinions mean absolutely ZERO!!!
My dear Mikey, I wish you and Daniel the very best in healing your relationship.
I love your authentic self and I wish you could just block the haters! Be well, happy, safe & your loving self forever. Sending much Love & wishes for Peace, Comfort & Healing.
It takes incredible courage and strength of character to face and acknowledge the “broken parts” in one’s life, let alone publicly describe what’s happening. Stay true to yourself, do what brings joy to your heart and life, and try to shorten your work day so that you and Daniel have that time to reestablish those deep bonds. Your passion for crochet and knitting is inspiring to so many.
I love you best when you are truly you. Real. Raw. Raunchy. Human. You are a gifted teacher and a delightful soul. Your laughter and sense of humor have carried me through some of my darkest times.
Mikey – I had a feeling things weren’t ”right” with you and Daniel. I’m glad you two aired it out and are working to re-direct the priorities in your lives. Life can be so short… live it to your priorities, not the whole world’s ”expectations” of what you should be or should do. I enjoy you and your work… and if there are some parts that don’t interest me (i.e. knitting at the moment), then I just skip over it but I will certainly not criticize you for exploring something new and different! Be true to yourself.