Crochet Anxiety with Social Media

Crochet Anxiety with Social Media

Many of us have looked at the crochet social websites and second-guessed our own abilities in crochet. Some of us go a step further and mentally beat ourselves up which is pretty common.

In any of the crochet designs I have completed, I can confidently tell you that I have always seen better examples of my finished pattern than what my original was. Some people really have an eye for colour that really can set off my pattern for a new vibe. Sometimes, I secretly wish I would have considered the colour palette of what the crocheter chose instead. However, I do take the inspiration into the future if I design something else and may consider the colour palette of what someone else has done.

Social media has the power to bring us together but has significant self-pressure and communications from others that can really rip apart our well-being.

Amping Up The Pressure

Some of us are involved in selling crochet projects at the shows. The fact of selling creates deadlines and financial transactions between the crocheter and public setting. Even friends can request to crochet something, even if you are willing to do it for free. For me, the time clock is my nemesis when it comes to my crochet projects.

I set my own personal clock on how much time I want to devote. If I don't hit my personal goal, I can extend it. But in the world of shows and special occasions such as Christmas, there is a dead-stop time where you must be done. For myself, I cannot handle it when the timeline is unrealistic or a dead-stop time frame without adequate time to get there.

Have you ever noticed the Stitch Alongs? We work on the project for a month or so week by week but then the deadline is extended another month after the final clue. I do that so the pressure is ramped down. Having a Stitch Along due within a few days of the ending is unrealistic, even with me being dedicated the craft full-time.

Myself, I'm involved in producing content and tutorials for the public. While I thoroughly enjoying the teaching element, there are always elements of tips I should have communicated. I can easily slip up on words. I've given up striving for perfection when I am not capable of producing such results. I just do the best I can.

Feeling Crochet Pride on a Crochet Cruise. A new crocheter is on the right. I think her name was Susan but don't quote me.

Know Your Capabilities

If you are working on a project to the best of your ability, you are doing just fine. What is good for me is different for you. Each of us has our limits and personal achievements.

On one of the crochet cruises, we had Susan (Not sure if I am remembering her name right) sign up that didn't know how to crochet, which is shocking I know as we don't market to beginners. By the end of the cruise, she was capable of doing chaining and made herself a chain headband. She stood up at the end of the cruise and with such enthusiasm announced she made herself a chain and was wearing the headband with such pride. I know at least of few of you are thinking a few things:

The Judging Side of Ourselves

Why did she sign up for a crochet cruise in not being experienced enough for the trip?
A chain!? Really! Maybe she should have done a scarf or something.

The Reality of the Situation

Look at Susan on the right. Look at her face as another crocheter leans over to demonstration on how to sew the motifs together. Look at her face. I mean really look at her face! She's in a room of crocheters where many people have years or lifetimes of experiences of the hook. She's at the front door of the hobby.

Look at the joy. Look at the wonder in her yes. Look at the other crocheter make effort to lean over to show skills. LOOK.

When Susan stood up at the end of the cruise and announced with such pride that she finished a chain and was wearing it. We all gave her a huge round of applause. For her, accomplishing the chain was her claim to the moment. She went home with life experiences through the act of sharing with others.

Social and Personal Pressure

Life is full of disappointments, peer pressure and for me, most of it is self-pressure. People can give the look of being well put together when they are emotionally falling apart.

While not one of us can change the world. As a community, we have the power to enrich others lives. We also have the power to rip down people and shatter their lives.

I've come to learn as an educator of crochet that a smile across the table or through online social pictures can be very misleading to how the person is really feeling inside.

Filmed in 2008.

You Have To Find Comfort within Yourself

If you know you are doing the best you can. Be proud of yourself.
Create a gratitude journal and find at least 3 things each day that you are grateful for. This sounds ridiculous. I lost my way with a mental breakdown back many years ago. My gratitude journal pulled me from the dangerous part of myself. Finding 3 things is so difficult but in the forcing of finding them, you realize you have most likely more to be happy about then to be sad.
Change what can be changed that is dragging you down. This could be the self-discovery of knowing your abilities and being satisfied with what you are capable of doing. This could be more personal in the home, people or situations in your life that are cycling in a repetitive circle that is causing you the joy you deserve to have.
Take a moment to celebrate your accomplishments.

Listen...

I can rattle off a long list of items that I hate about myself. Some things the public can see. Others are mental scarring I have that keeps me in my place. To be fully committed to this article. I will share with you a few. Nothing you can say will change it for me.

I had body dysmorphic disorder until I met Daniel. Daniel taught me that it's okay to be me. I have gained significant weight since meeting him but in my past, gaining weight landed me in the mental ward. I'm happy about being overweight, no, but I don't emotionally beat myself up anymore.
I hate that I don't have an eye for colour coordination. When crocheters ask me about colour coordinating, I defer to Daniel as I don't have this gift.
I hate that I don't like wine. It's a social thing and I drink the occasional beer feeling like I don't have refined tastes in comparison to others.
I hate my photograph taken. I appear behind the scenes more often because I am holding the camera. However, if I need to be in front of the camera, I have to suck it up and do my thing. It's why most of the videos don't start off with a face shot.
I'm a workaholic and cannot stop myself from obsessing about working and feel extremely guilty if I am sitting still without moving my hands or actively working on my business.

This list can go on and on if I let it. However, I have to find joy in what does bring me happiness to see myself through my life's journey.

Let the Negative Go and Be With Itself

There are certain websites and certain people in real life and in the social realm that really upset me. I've had to learn to avoid those people and websites to let the joy within me be free. You know the type of people and websites that constantly spill negativity in the hopes you will feel anger.

I've had to learn that I can only be responsible for what I can control. There are certain elements of life where I am not involved or can make any difference.

I take things personally and my team reminds me from time to time to not let negativity into my life and try my best.

Seek Professional Help

I'm not a trained medical health professional, counsellor or therapist. I will tell you, I carry a card in my wallet for a mental health crisis line in the event where I am feeling at the end of my rope. You are obviously finding this article online, use Google to locate a mental health crisis hotline or professionals in your area.

Catherine says

May 23, 2020 at 1:52 pm

Thanks for this message. I needed to read it today because I am going through a tough time right now as many of us are. I am very much like you in that I'm a workaholic and a perfectionist and take a lot of things to heart. I also have one of those creative minds that keeps wondering off in different directions. Those parts of me will never change, but they need to be tamed like a unruly ball of yarn.

I've also been through a lot in my life. I was psychologically abused at a very young age and anyone who's lived through abuse knows it leaves scars that can resurface throughout life if triggered. In my 30's I burned out and I took the lesson that if you push yourself too hard, your body will eventually shut you down. You have to listen to it before it gets to that point and make yourself the priority because you can't help others if you are not well.

Ten years after my recovery, my 14 year old came out as trans. It was in a time where the existence of trans people was very much under the radar. There were no legal protections and no protocols in place to protect transitioning kids in schools and sports organizations, at least not in Canada. I feel guilty talking about it because it was not at all about me but it affected me very deeply for many years. I was extremely invested in making the right decisions for my child's well being which was sometimes at odds with hers, all the while challenging institutions and people to change their way of thinking. Loving my daughter and supporting her was the easy part. Everything else was hard...but in the end I was gifted with a beautiful, thriving, self confident daughter and some very valuable lessons about who and what matters most in life.

When things happen that you cannot control, all you can do is take one day at a time and just put one foot in front of the other. Even if you feel you are stepping back, over the course of time, you are still moving forward.

When people don't accept who you are or the decisions you've made, that's on them. You can only control your own thoughts and you cannot let other people's ignorance or negativity affect you. I know that's easier said than done but you have to live as your authentic self, love and value yourself. It's ok to let go of people, even those you were once close to. Do it and make your peace with it. You don't need a lot of people in your life to be happy.

Now if life wasn't complicated enough along comes a love of crochet which in itself is like being in a complicated relationship. I find inspiration in so many things and over the years have amassed a huge stash of patterns, threads and yarn, a lot more than the average person as I worked nearly 20 years in the industry. Executing projects is a lot of fun, but finishing them, especially when they're not working out as planned can be a huge source of anxiety. Dealing with my stash is another and thinking up ideas of what to do with yarn I already own without buying more can be another challenge. I know 100% that I am not alone. I would love to see a thread that discusses the stresses and dysfunctions when you have a creative passion that needs to be tamed.

Comments

Catherine says
May 23, 2020 at 1:52 pm
Thanks for this message. I needed to read it today because I am going through a tough time right now as many of us are. I am very much like you in that I'm a workaholic and a perfectionist and take a lot of things to heart. I also have one of those creative minds that keeps wondering off in different directions. Those parts of me will never change, but they need to be tamed like a unruly ball of yarn.
I've also been through a lot in my life. I was psychologically abused at a very young age and anyone who's lived through abuse knows it leaves scars that can resurface throughout life if triggered. In my 30's I burned out and I took the lesson that if you push yourself too hard, your body will eventually shut you down. You have to listen to it before it gets to that point and make yourself the priority because you can't help others if you are not well.
Ten years after my recovery, my 14 year old came out as trans. It was in a time where the existence of trans people was very much under the radar. There were no legal protections and no protocols in place to protect transitioning kids in schools and sports organizations, at least not in Canada. I feel guilty talking about it because it was not at all about me but it affected me very deeply for many years. I was extremely invested in making the right decisions for my child's well being which was sometimes at odds with hers, all the while challenging institutions and people to change their way of thinking. Loving my daughter and supporting her was the easy part. Everything else was hard...but in the end I was gifted with a beautiful, thriving, self confident daughter and some very valuable lessons about who and what matters most in life.
When things happen that you cannot control, all you can do is take one day at a time and just put one foot in front of the other. Even if you feel you are stepping back, over the course of time, you are still moving forward.
When people don't accept who you are or the decisions you've made, that's on them. You can only control your own thoughts and you cannot let other people's ignorance or negativity affect you. I know that's easier said than done but you have to live as your authentic self, love and value yourself. It's ok to let go of people, even those you were once close to. Do it and make your peace with it. You don't need a lot of people in your life to be happy.
Now if life wasn't complicated enough along comes a love of crochet which in itself is like being in a complicated relationship. I find inspiration in so many things and over the years have amassed a huge stash of patterns, threads and yarn, a lot more than the average person as I worked nearly 20 years in the industry. Executing projects is a lot of fun, but finishing them, especially when they're not working out as planned can be a huge source of anxiety. Dealing with my stash is another and thinking up ideas of what to do with yarn I already own without buying more can be another challenge. I know 100% that I am not alone. I would love to see a thread that discusses the stresses and dysfunctions when you have a creative passion that needs to be tamed.
Sue McVicker says
April 25, 2020 at 10:46 am
No Blue Button
- Marina King says
  May 12, 2020 at 9:56 am
  button not needed for this one
Lala says
November 08, 2019 at 6:19 am
Thank you for the genuine care you exude throughout your article. Thank you for sharing such relevant points and doing so with sincere compassion, inclusiveness, and open-heartedness.

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